i really suck at letting go

christmas is in 4 days...

and i'm still not feeling it.


maybe this christmas will be better than the rest! :)

it's time to move forward and stop looking back

on chivalry

maybe i'm being too picky, but really la, where have all the good men gone?

lol


gentlemen are quite endangered nowadays.

or maybe they just don't teach those kinda stuff to boys anymore. which is a pity cos, there're some really basic things which should be done but sadly are not. for example:

walking a girl home
come on guys, it's just basic courtesy to make sure your girl friends get home safely. and it makes you seem very 'knight in shining armour'.

when sending a girl home in a car, wait til she goes into the house before leaving.

holding the door
not just for girls but for anyone. i know girls nowadays are all about female empowerment and not needing a guy to help, but it's just nice to have someone hold the door for you :D


i'm sure there are some more stuff that a lot of men (note: i said men not boys) should do but don't. unfortunately, i don't have time now. so, i guess that'll have to wait.

when the oceans rise and thunders roar

i know everything will be ok eventually...

but right now i'm feeling awfully tired and broken.
really really not so great.


hmm... i need strength to go on. and it's so hard.

just feel like i don't belong anywhere anymore.
i thought work would be a distraction. but everytime when i go home, it's still the same.
seriously never thought coming back would be this difficult.
i really love penang, but wish some things would change.
but, maybe it's all for the best.
maybe God is teaching me something.


Jesus i REALLY need your strength for this.
it seems trivial but i can't seem to take it. hmm... feel so weak that i need people's approval and love. but it's the sad truth, i do need it.

ultimately:

the people you spend(t) the most time with / love(d) the most

hurts you most.

not good

notice how people are only nice to you when they want something from you?

like, you never really hear from them, and suddenly they start talking to you... and somewhere between the fourth and fifth sentence (if they're tactful enough), you realise that it's because they want something from you.


thank God i still have friends who are nice to me just because.
not everything needs to have an ulterior motive.

today

today is so beautiful it makes me want to cry.





like seriously... have you ever felt a day go so well that you feel as if you can't contain it all in?


today is one of those days.

tomorrow might be crap, but for now, i'm going to enjoy my beautiful day as best as i can.

i think being near flowers and trees and grass does that to me.
it makes a good day terrific!


ahh i feel loved, rejuvenated, filled with a sense of purpose, and the weather's pretty darn fantastic.
my cup runneth over.
what more can a girl ask for?



(taken in feb. how time flies)


maybe a tall handsome someone...?
haha nah jokes.



i'll have the hydrangeas though.

why do christians still choose to praise God, and believe in God when bad things happen to them?

they get sick just as non-christians do, they get into accidents and sometimes die, they get demoted in their job... they encounter problems just like everyone else. so, if there is a God, why is He letting all of these happen to them? aren't they supposed to be His children? so, in other words, aren't christians getting the short end of the stick?


i was watching this video someone shared on facebook and it hit me...

we don't praise God for all the good things that He has done for us.
we praise Him because He is WORTHY.


there're so many things that we don't know/ can't answer about life... (eg: why bad things happen to good people), but i can tell you why, despite all the bad things that happen to us, all the taunting from tv and people, etc, i still choose to praise God.

it's because He is Worthy.

happiness is really a state of mind

the good news is yay i'm done with exams! for the year. now i can legitimately concentrate on slacking off, having fun and not focusing on my books.

unfortunately,
a lot of my friends are still having theirs. life's less interesting when you're free but your friends aren't.

and it's raining on guy fawkes!! i guess this means no watching fireworks at new brighton pier now. ishhkkkkkk... annoying. the weather is always good when i have heaps of things to study or assignments to do, but when i plan to do something outdoors... it always rains!


i have a list of things to do during my last 2 weeks here (for the year) to keep myself from feeling bored. but i think i do things a little too quickly. i've already finished clearing out all of my books in the morning. now all i need is a box to put them into.


meanwhile... something amusing i found in my pantry drawer the other day.


simpson's cookies! see it even came with a little note. so sweet!


and that was what was inside. i only found homer and krusty inside.


but they still tasted great. now i actually know what yellow "people" taste like.

hair is hair is hair

my hair is in bad shape.

split ends everywhere and i have more bad than good hair days. ah woe...
i soooo need a haircut! snip snip haven't cut my hair in 9 months (the horror)


am now toying with cutting my hair short.


something like these.

but of cos, being asian, it'll probably end up looking slightly different from what i envisioned it to be.


but then... just when i got my hair to be long... and the growing it out process is quite a pain.

so... i don't know. what do you think?

something cool


time to cut down perhaps?

figure it out as you go along

i'm getting lazy...
have had 2 papers already and my last one is in 4 days time. and help me i'm running out of steam! do you think burning my notes and drinking them ala bomoh will help? haha do let me know... ;)

denise ong! your mugging and cramming and whining and sitting in friggin cold computer labs on fine weathered days, will end in precisely 4 days. so quit complaining and buckle down and stardeee.

speaking of cold computer labs, i have no idea why the place is like at least a few degrees colder than the weather outside. dahlah the wind outside is killing... when you go indoors expecting it to be cosy and warm, you start freezing up all over again. feel like a vegetable in the fridge sometimes... minus the greenness, that is. another minor annoyance, (yes i'm whiny about the weather, what else is new?) is how the weather turns so fast... it can be really warm and sunny one moment, and a few hours later you're shivering and having backache in the thin sweater you put on because you stupidly thought the nice weather would last. seriously, chch weather is so pms-sy.


but i guess that's just the beauty of life. it's unpredictabilities and quirks. you think you've got it all planned and sorted out and wham! life lands you something unexpected and throws you out of balance. or maybe just a little wind that blows and musses up your previously combed hair.

like how today while on the way to the teacher's college to study (it's so much quieter there), ning and i got talking with this really sweet elderly guy. and get this... he actually knows where msia is (lordy it's a miracle!), and not only that.... he actually lived in penang for 10 years. AND he raves about the food still. ahaha! to all those who said that penang food is overrated... if a gweilo can say that he misses it, you can form your own conclusions lah!
i love unexpected encounters with lovely people.

on the way back we got yelled at by some guys in a car. yeah, the irony. they should seriously consider coming up with other ways of harassing the asians/ arabs, i mean... isn't the old shouting from car trick getting pretty old? i guess it's just too much to ask to be treated with respect regardless of race around here. i'm not asking to be liked, all i want is to be treated as an equal. not as someone of lower class just because i have small eyes, black hair and yellow skin.

some people need to get a life.

food: for... against?

i get all these forwarded emails from my parents about how some kuey teow are made from chopsticks, and chicken from rats, and now... bananas dipped in some kind of toxic chemical to preserve their yellowness.
seriously, what can you trust nowadays?

even if those emails lack verification... just the thought of people deliberately doing all these for profit just sickens me. we're just so screwed honestly. who knows how much hormone-pumped chicken and beef i've been eating? or how much insecticide-doused vegetables i've had throughout these years?

if only people could just survive without eating.
lol i can't believe i, the girl who raves about food, just said that. but think about it, eating is a waste of time. and of money as well. you waste time AND money to eat, and during output as well. you KNOW what i mean. then being fat or thin wouldn't be attributed to food intake or metabolism etc. no more problems of girls (and guys, guys are getting much vainer nowadays) becoming bulimic or anorexic. diets; a thing of the past! now wouldn't that be exciting...

but then again... AHA! you knew there'd be a 'but', didn't you, you smart arse.

(psst... an arts degree challenges you to think from both angles and to justify your present ideas by effectively arguing them out in a logical way)
sorry... exam fever getting to me :(

as i was saying, there is always another side to the coin. or so they tell me anyway. i honestly can't tell which is head or tails. ANYWAY... without the need to eat, there'd be one less thing to enjoy. and (i'm speaking on behalf of all the foodies out there) really, food IS something of a pleasure for us. i mean, almost half of our day is usually taken up by eating, talking about food, looking up food blogs/tv programs about food, cooking, or just planning what to have for lunch. i mean, if you have to do it, might as well take as much enjoyment out of it as possible right? besides, i'd have nothing to placate me when i'm stressed/ bored/ sad. sugar is always a friend then.

also, without eating, we'd have one less thing to do as a family. i don't know about other people, but one of the only times my family does something together is during mealtimes. usually dinners. otherwise we're all over the place, doing our own stuff. without meals, gosh! what else would we do as a family? besides going to church, shopping, traveling that is. plus, eating is a good bonding time for friends as well. where on earth are we going to hangout after... well what is it people do again if they don't eat?? i don't really feel it so much in nz cos here we do other stuff which require less eating more often. i mean we DO hangout and eat and talk about our adoration of anything gastronomical (especially their obsession of babi, not mine), but it's much less than what i used to do in penang. back home (home meaning the little island), we'd go for dinners and after-dinners right after that. yeah nothing much to do besides hanging around food places really.


so, conclusion...
i think i've had too much to study. what started off as a random of how disgusting some people could get, inventing new ways to kill people, turned into (what appears to be) something resembling an academic essay. just great denise.

oh and... despite the high probability of contracting weird and horrible things from the look of the land... i'm still in favour of eating. not that i've much choice or say in that matter la. haha.

this dog kinda smiles like me! hahahaha...

and that's my cue to go!

The Holiday

i think 'the holiday' is a great post-break up movie to watch. corny and sweet and touching... perfect excuse to cry. not that i need one. but you know... another random from denise ong. might come in handy someday.

but i like the movie a lot. not a great like notting hill but nevertheless... pretty good.


so, i guess i'm into sappy corny storylines now. and gossip girl.
have to make up for my not having much of a life at the moment right? exams are such a pain.

you know what would be good right now? a massage... and maybe a hot guy or two... ;)
oh and aceing all my papers.

oooh 1am already. time to go!

that dress

it was a really pretty dress. i mean, the skirt actually fluffs up at the waist... how can it help but be pretty. but too bad it was too tight for me (i bought it off trademe, you see) so i had to wear a bolero to cover the fact that i can't zip it all the way up.

ah can't find pictures that show it to it's best advantage.

so here's me dedicating a speech to the birthday girl. the candle makes me look like part of a cult ey? haha.




and with the birthday girl herself. i would like to take this moment to point out here that i look so deliciously fair in this picture (compare and contrast with my orangeness in the first picture). thank you lighting! you truly are a girl's best friend.



anyway, am thinking of selling it off (to a thinner person) as i won't be re-wearing it any time soon... and it really is a very pretty dress. would be a pity for it to just languish in my closet.



ahaha... why does this sound like an advert for my dress?

almost there... among other things

how time does fly... it's already the last week of the school term, also the last one for this year. and having a new flattie at this time of the year just brings back memories of how it was when i first got here. seems like so long ago, seems like just yesterday. i can still remember how alone and scared and bored i was, and yet how excited about seeing new things, and knowing new people. and now that the warmer spring days are here, bringing with it the smell of sunblock lotion and fresh air (i now leave my window opened)... reminds me of when i just came. funny how the weirdest things trigger your memory. some people remember sounds, or how things looked... but i remember how i felt at that time.

back to before i started rambling off, yes got another new flatmate. it's just too bad that we'll be leaving before we get to know him better.

i've been blessed with really good flatmates this year. one amazingly neat one who has made the flat a much cleaner and organized place since she came (even the fridge is labeled), and a not so neat or clean one (but i guess it's their culture to not really bother about making sure the soap suds are rinsed off before drying them), a bubbly and fun one, a very quiet one, and one that gets on my nerves sometimes but i think he meant well :D


ok random:
pak and save sells the best apples so far. they're crunchy and sweet too! i think even sara (the ultimate apple snob) won't turn up her wet black nose at them. hehe.


time to gear up for exams!!!!

oh bali...

the only time i have 5 guys racing to get me...














sighhhhhhh but at least i know i'm desirable to indonesian men. ahaha... jokes!


but bali was fun. somehow island holidays always have this relaxing vibe about them. so peaceful and serene.



one thing i really miss from bali... the bakso! omgosh it was soooo good. and you have to get it from the roadside seller, cos that's where the best ones are.

and the other picture is me doing the thing i love a lot (and apparently, i'm defined by it now... have no idea how my friends got that idea), and one you can see me doing often. haha.
and boy was that buffet good... i haven't gone for a buffet in roughly 9 months... man i need to be spoiled and pampered again la.



and this one, oh i just put it in for fun. yeah well, one can never have enough of one's own pics what... unless of course, you have a huge zit on your face or really bad hair when it was taken. upon looking back at my old photos... i realised that i have had phases of REALLY bad hair. sigh...

Meredith and Abbey

i got this in an email. being an animal-person, as well as a sucker for heart-warming stories, thought i'd share this simple one.



Meredith and Abbey


This is one of the kindest things you may ever see..

It is not known who replied, but there is a beautiful soul working in the dead letter office of the US postal service.




Our 14 year old dog, Abbey, died last month. The day after she died, my 4 year old daughter Meredith was crying and talking about how much she missed Abbey.. She asked if we could write a letter to God so that when Abbey got to heaven, God would recognize her. I told her that I thought we could so she dictated these words:

"Dear God,

Will you please take care of my dog? She died yesterday and is with you in heaven. I miss her very much. I am happy that you let me have her as my dog even though she got sick.
I hope you will play with her. She likes to play with balls and to swim. I am sending a picture of her so when you see her You will know that she is my dog. I really miss her.

Love,

Meredith"

We put the letter in an envelope with a picture of Abbey and Meredith and addressed it to God/Heaven.. We put our return address on it. Then Meredith pasted several stamps on the front of the envelope because she said it would take lots of stamps to get the letter all the way to heaven. That afternoon she dropped it into the letter box at the post office. A few days later, she asked if God had gotten the letter yet. I told her that I thought He had.

Yesterday, there was a package wrapped in gold paper on our front porch addressed, 'To Meredith' in an unfamiliar hand. Meredith opened it. Inside was a book by Mr. Rogers called, 'When a Pet Dies..' Taped to the inside front cover was the letter we had written to God in its opened envelope. On the opposite page was the picture of Abbey & Meredith and this note:


"Dear Meredith,

Abbey arrived safely in heaven.

Having the picture was a big help. I recognized Abbey right away.

Abbey isn't sick anymore. Her spirit is here with me just like it stays in your heart. Abbey loved being your dog.. Since we don't need our bodies in heaven, I don't have any pockets to keep your picture in, so I am sending it back to you in this little book for you to keep and have something to remember Abbey by...

Thank you for the beautiful letter and thank your mother for helping you write it and sending it to me. What a wonderful mother you have. I picked her especially for you.. I send my blessings every day and remember that I love you very much.

By the way, I'm easy to find, I am wherever there is love.

Love,

God"


reading this made me think of my fluffball, sara *loves*. she's still healthy and prancing around, but then again, she's 8 this year and that's "getting-on" in dog years. sigh... not that much time left with her unless she lives to a VERY ripe old age like Abbey. she may be more than we bargained for when we first brought back this wee little black pup which grew up and started destroying everything we owned, and acts like the real master of the house while at it. but a dog somehow completes a family. can't imagine living without one.

anyway... heheh...

the thing i wanted to say before i got sidetracked, is that, love works in the smallest actions and gestures. you may not see it, but who knows... you just made someone a little happier. love is my mom skyping with me every week without fail, or my sister letting me bring over some of her clothes, even the ones that she likes.


and to end this on a 'not-so-soppy' note, the annual tea party is today. great. more drunk people roaming the streets in broad daylight. like they need to have more reason to get totaled. and i have the misfortune to have class *grumblegrumble*

i think it's time.

to get me some real boots. ahhhh have been wanting them since a long time ago but as i am very very choosy when it comes to shoes, have yet to find the right pair. it's tough cos cheap and comfortable and stylish don't seem to be friends apparently.

but i WILL find that perfect pair. eventually.

i will love people

if you've been following my blog or know me quite well personally, you would have known/noticed that the past few weeks haven't been the easiest on me. yeah well, this thing happened and threw me off balance, and let's just put it this way, i did not deal with it well. it probably was a long time coming, just that i didn't want to look at it that way cos i don't like to give up on things easily.

anyway, throughout that whole time, i didn't really know how to deal with it except by shutting everyone out... haha yes, and just putting this happy show on. i thought i could deal with it myself but, as they say... grief shared is grief halved.

and there were people who encouraged me and just spent time talking to me about stuff. and i'm really blessed and encouraged by these people who've helped in their own little ways. just today i received this email from a friend asking me not to be emo anymore. very touched :)

so the point of this post...
i feel so selfish just thinking about me me me all the time, and you know what? the time for grieving is over. i know i have a calling over my life, and though i have no idea what that is yet, i know what i want to do meanwhile. i want to bring people together, and in some way, be a blessing in their lives.

which will mean, some work in certain areas:
i will take the time to get to know people
i will not get easily irritated with difficult people or shun them
i will ask 'how are you?' and really mean it
i will take every opportunity i can to encourage and bring people up
i will love people

i know i'm not the most accommodating and friendly person, but one step and one person at a time.

it's time to give out the stuff that i've been taking in. sounds dodgy (haha) but, you do get what i mean right??

the rain in spring

life is one assignment after another now.
but it's ok cos there're only 6 more weeks to go. i can handle that.

i can. i must!













meanwhile


it's ok if i don't have everything under control.
it's ok if i don't know what's going to happen next.
it's ok if i don't have it all together.


cos God is always in control.
and i am just going to let Him lead me every step of the way.
i won't know the answers for everything.
but i trust on His wisdom.
things probably won't go the way i want them to go,
but it's ok... i will have to learn to let go of controlling them.

it's all good :) and it's ok.


i was talking to my friend about the beautiful warm-ish weather of spring and how i wished it'd always be like that with no rain. and she said that without rain, the plants would all die cos there would be a drought. ahh so true. which got me thinking, we all need a little rain in our lives. rain is a PAIN (especially if you can't use an umbrella cos the wind is so strong) BUT rain nourishes, rain restores, and rain prepares you for the sunny times to come. life just can't be one happy sunny day all year round cos then we wouldn't be able to survive for long. just a little thought.

"even if you fall sometimes, you will have the strength to rise" - kutless

ok it's time for a non-emo post. i'm tired of being "emo"



besides, i've finally got to a point where i'm getting over being angry and bitter. cos what's the point anyway? being bitter won't get me anywhere. besides, there's nothing worse than a bitter girl... oh except for a bitter old woman. so i don't wanna be any of those of course.
i think i'm at a point where i've accepted what has happened and am more or less comfortable with putting it behind me and moving on. life is good and i've woken up to smell the roses cos

the TULIPS ARE HERE!!!

i love tulips so.... it would seem like i love every other flower, but then... they're so pretty what, how can you not love them? i have to be fair to all of them. plus, eunice "gave" me a flower paradise at life group (we all have to think of stuff we would give each other if money was not an issue), because she said i reminded her of flowers. awww... i like that!

haha can you tell i'm rambling again?
once again, don't expect a literary masterpiece cos the only times i actually find the urge to write is when i've throughly exhausted my brain doing work of some sort. so he are the bare uncovered facts (sorta like m&m's without the so much food colouring on it shell) laid down to you in the simplest form of language possible for me.

ok let's see, what's new with the world according to denise ong?


ehhhh...



life is a blur of assignments and studying and going to uni and things i do besides that. such as gossip girl season 3. yes i succumbed because i really need something to tide me over through the wilderness weeks (aka now). i have to literally drag myself to open my books day after day and consciously refrain from going on facebook when i'm doing my assignment. strenous, and i can't say i succeed all the time, but at least i'm still getting things done.


guess what?
what?
knew you'd ask :)
ok lames i know. haha


only 1 month and 2 weeks before i can breathe in the salty air of penang once again.
penang here i come in awhile! be patient for it WILL be soon.


so, september and (parts of) october has been rather happening. i've worn all of my party dresses now, which also signifies the end of the events. boo. but at least i've got one more to look forward to. every nation's 'night of stars'. positively the last of the lot for me, this year at least.
which is i guess, good news for my bank account cos i'm almost broke now *cry*
no more shopping :(

and, somehow so many people have to be born in october.


ok, the computer screen is making me see circles...


you know you love me,
XOXO


chuck and blair are so sweet together!
but honestly i'm just watching for the clothes. really!

anyone happens to have a dose of joy with them?

some people make too big a fuss over things which frankly, don't deserve thaaaaat much attention.
or maybe i'm just being sour and cynical.
which seems to be a pattern these days with me. i'm meaner and colder. hmm not how i want to be like, or see myself heading.
oh well... when circumstances forces you to be strong, you get strong, but perhaps along with that came a hard coating designed to keep the world out as well.

so yes, i would say that i'm more world-weary now. and harder.
that girl who was all smiles, laughters and sunshine... oh she's probably on a ship to alaska now.

but then again... did that girl even exist in the first place?





you know how when you turn into a wrong road, the gps recalculates your route?


well i'm still recalculating.

tired. so tired.

when the sun is shining you...

... go picnicking! of course.

we have been so blessed to have had perfect weather the past week. it all culminated on sunday when it was actually quite hot. which is awesome cos then everyone can be found out of doors.

and thanks to dom's foresight, we had a lovely picnic at the uni grounds and by the cherry blossoms after church. ahh perfect day perfect weather... what more can a girl ask for?

so here are more spring pictures...
hope this brightens your day as it always does for me :)

i love uni! it's sooooooooo beautiful (when it's not exams or assignment time)

and these were taken at the botanical gardens. since i'm posting about spring (yet again), might as well go all out. haha.

love with all the spring goodness!
XOXO



(credits to benj for the lovely picters)

useless stuff

don't read if you have better things to do.
seriously.


i can't fold my tongue
like never! i have the most unflexible tongue ever.
oh well, at least i get to be the minority of the population who can't. i'm special i'm special!


i'm uncomfortable with proximity.
as in, i never let anyone get too close to me. usually there is a cut off point where i start distancing myself away if i think we're getting too close to the point where i feel uncomfortable. hmm, not a good thing i guess.
people are troublesome.
ok i'm probably going to be miss unpopular for writing this, but it's true what...
but i still love love everyone la. hehe. i do!


i make jokes that no one gets.
which i guess, in a way makes me somewhat of a loser. haha.
or really brilliant! you know... like british humour.



and
i probably should start learning korean. since people think i'm korean anyway. can dupe them even further.
;P

without you - my fair lady

i love My Fair Lady...
besides being an awesome awesome musical, it can be used to apply to so many things. heheh.




Eliza (singing):
What a fool I was, what dominated fool,
to think that you were the earth and the sky,
What a fool I was, What an elevated fool,
What a mutton-headed dote was I!
No, my reverberated friend,
you are not the beginning and the end.

Professor Higgins (speaking):
You impetant hussy there's not an idea in your head or a word in your mouth that I haven't put there.

Eliza (singing):
There'll be spring every year without you. England still will be here without you.
There'll be fruit on the tree.
And a shore by the sea.
There'll be crumpets and tea without you.

Art and music will thrive without you. Somehow Keats will survive without you.
And there still will be rain on that plain down in Spain,
even that will remain without you.
I can do without you.

You, dear friend, who taught so well,
You can go to Hartford, Hereford and Hampshire.

They can still rule with land without you.
Windsor Castle will stand without you.
And without much ado we can all muddle through without you.

Professor Higgins:
You brazen hussy,

Eliza (singing):
Wihtout pulling it the tide comes in,
without your twirling it the Earth can spin,
Without your pulling it, the tide comes in
Without your twirling it, the earth can spin
Without your pushing them, the clouds roll by,
If they can do without you, ducky, so can I
I shall not feel alone without you
I can stand on my own without you
So go back in your shell
I can do bloody well
Without...

Professor Higging (singing) interupts:
By George, I really did it,
I did it, I did it,
I said I'd make a woman and indeed I did,
I knew that I could do it,
I knew it, I knew it,
I said I'd make a woman and succeed I did!

(speaking)
Eliza you are wonderful

lalala~

boo from the crypt!
lol
missing you james hight!
spent so much time together but now you're closed down for repairs.




haha siao d.
okclassnowbyes!

thank you

ironically, people usually say they don't wanna hurt you when they are going to hurt you or are already doing it.



so thanks.

you made it sound like you had no choice when you had one. you always had a choice.
if this was supposed to be mutual, why does it feel like i'm the loser?




everything's all broken. and i'm just left behind, trying to pick up the pieces.
wondering why.



of all people.
you would be the one.

i need the strength to move on.







and after this... no more second chances.

pretty tough week.


hmmm... if i could say something to you what would it be?

think think think....


honestly, nothing.
just too many thoughts
too many memories
too many what ifs
too much emotions

i'm not too good at processing anything more complicated than happy or sad.
so yeah if you wanted to know,
i'm still here. surviving.





so i think this is goodbye. for ever... don't know.
but for now: yes.

cherry blossoms, sun and yellow!

today i just sat in the gardens on the bench and just breathed in spring.
just a perfect sunny day.
so so pretty and the best thing was that no one disturbed my reverie.
oh how i love you daffodils!
how i love you spring!


thought i'd share some of the love.
although, i only used my phone's camera to take them. oh for the want of a proper camera!

in case you were wondering... it's only early spring so a lot of the trees/ shrubs are still ugly and botak.

confused

ever feel like you thought you knew that person pretty well and one day realise that you actually don't know him/her at all?
how would you feel if you discovered something from said person's life which you never knew?

i don't know.



you tell me.

wednesday

i don't think anyone reads my posts anymore :(

anyhow, classes have been pushed back yet another week. which means that my 2 week long term break is turning into a 4 week long one. don't want to complain, and the uncertainty of the term, classes, and studying for exams is starting to really get to me. but still, i will stay calm and not complain, because i am alive. and i am very thankful for that.

just please... no more quakes. no morrrrrr...


on another note:
my church's 10th anniversary celebration is on this week. going straight on despite the recent disaster. which is cool, cos it takes our minds of it somewhat. i'll be going for the banquet on friday night, and us malaysians decided to put up a tiny fashion show for cultural night on saturday. getting quite excited about it. hehe. i feel so dainty and demure with my little "chinese" umbrella and cheongsam. not to mention, more chinese than i've ever felt in my whole life. i love how there are so many nationalities in Every Nation CHCH. really suits the church's name. so yeah, definitely looking forward to seeing people in their traditional costumes doing their thing on saturday.

seriously...

i think i woke up on the wrong side of the bed today.
so cranky. because the aftershock jolted me from my bed, which then triggered the alarm in the next block, and made me get up thinking i should go check it out, which then made me unable to go back to sleep until 5-ish.

and i got up late today. which is annoying because i absolutely hate to wake up after 10.30am. such a waste of time and i always wake up woozy afterwards which lasts pretty much the whole day and leaves me very snappish and grumpy.

so yeah.
angry, grumpy, sleepy, frustrated.
don't make me unhappy.


on another note...

it's day 3 of the massive christchurch quake and the buses are back to running, malls are opened (though some shops are still not), and people are busy fixing up their houses. aftershocks are still aplenty which is sooooooooo annoying. sometimes i'm not even sure if it's a tremor or just me imagining that it's one.

but still surviving.
anyway, foound something that tickled my funny bone. people who can still capitalise on this disaster.


this is a product on trademe (nz's online "mall")


the Aftershock Indicator.

measures the degree of aftershock from 'it's just in your head' to 'RUN!'


lol

in one moment

how does one learn to pick up the pieces from when something momentous happened and move on?

we just do.


i guess.


yesterday i didn't even know that new zealand is prone to earquakes, being in the volcanic region.
Today i'm just praying and hoping for a good night's sleep.
in one moment, so many people's lives have changed.
so many people made all the wiser.
ignorance is no longer bliss.


yesterday i was safe in my ignorance
today...

the earthquake and i

ok, so by now almost anyone within the radius of any form of news would've already heard of the ginormous quake in christchurch. well my knowldge of earthquakes prior to this was confined to just reading about it in newspapers and pitying the residents, but if i must say so myself... 7.4 (7.1, 7.0?? they can't seem to make up their minds about it) on the richter scale is pretty scary.


so, how did it feel? c'mon, i know you're dying to ask... haha.
like a really bad dream where someone's rocking your bed so hard, and you realise after a moment that it's not going to stop and wake up to find that everything else is moving. pretty scary moment aye. and noisy too. and then everything blacks out. which leaves you groping in the dark for your glasses to see what's happening. and then it hit's you: Earthquake!

oh crap.


we then had to evacuate the buildings, and stand outside on the lawn in the cold in our pj's and winter jackets. well, not everyone. apparently some guys came out shirtless...
and once they were satisfied everyone was accounted for, the ilam people let us off about 2 hours after it happened.

once i got back to my flat, i couldn't get anymore sleep. well, honestly, the belated shock of it coupled with aftershock tremors... not conducive for sleeping.

but oh wells...

at least everyone i know is safe. praise God for that! and also that there was relatively no damage to the ilam apartments and uni save for some cracks. a lot of things to be thankful for but as i've been repeating the same things to different people all morning and afternoon, quite lazy to write it down here now. but i must say, i'm so glad my flat's so sturdy. nothing fell of the shelves except for my books. surprising.



i guess i can say that i've experienced and earthquake before now.
hey when life hands you an earthquake, what else can you do but put it in your 'have done' list?


ps: very touched from all the texts, calls, fb messages from friends and family. it's enough to make a girl feel loved :)

term break again

time to take 5...

holidays are fun.
but they would be so much better if i didn't have this thick cloud of doom assignments looming over my head all the time.
i feel guilty after playing.
:(
so hard to research about stuff in malaysia while i'm here. but hopefully all will work out well.


going to bake tomorrow! yayness.


and in 3 months time...


:)



ps: the flowers are blooming! *excited*
i saw cherry blossoms on saturday.

it's not happiness... it's joy

"True joy is one that flourishes during hard times.
Your joy will only be taken from you if you give it away."

~Pastor B

for kicks: past headers

some are missing, which is a shame cos i had quite a few and it would be nice to see them all. but well, at least i preserved some of them.

and i can't even remember how my first one was like. ahh so sad...

Love is patient

i'm not the most patient of people.

haha. understatement.

impatience has gotten me into trouble time and again.
made me do things i wish i hadn't.

so now i'm going to try to quell it.

wait. patiently.

so not me, but i know i can do it :)

when everything's finally going good, going right... don't go and ruin it again by impatience.
cos love IS patient.

it's been six months

since i last saw home.

yeah time does fly... or crawls by so slowly. depends on how you look at it. i veer my opinions from one to another depending on how i'm feeling. hehe. yes i can be quite contrary at times :D

so it's been a very pleasant 6 months here and i don't regret coming to christchurch at all. but now that the initial excitement of coming to a new place and discovering new things has wore off somewhat, i feel myself quite looking forward to go home. have been down with homesickness these few days. but again, shouldn't complain. this is a great opportunity and i should take every moment to enjoy it.





my gums hurt like crazy... i really hope it goes off soon. it's driving me mad and giving me a headache.