that time again

beautiful christchurch, beautiful penang

i'll be leaving penang in... give and take... about 2 weeks time.

while the feeling of doing nothing, sleeping in til noon, and having mum take care of basically everything, is soooooo luxurious and comfortable... i have to say, the busy bee side of me (wait..?! i have a busy bee side?) is raring to get out of this idleness and start doing something! and obviously, once i go back to christchurch, it's no holds barred back to work again. and having to take care of myself again :/

even so, it's not all work and no fun going back. for the moment at least (until i finally settle down somewhere), penang is my holiday place, my respite, my tropical paradise if you will. chch is where work happens, where my life is at the moment, where i feel most alive and motivated. i'm sure anyone who has ever left home to study or work will be able to understand what i mean, though i present it in a very confusing and rambly manner. this is not how i planned this blogpost to be, but i'll just be an organic writer tonight and let my ideas branch out and take shape as i go along, without too much pruning.

so, as always, i'm in two minds about going back to nz. but since i will be going back... i suppose i should motivate myself more so i can look at the bright side of things. yeah it's this new thing where i try to be as positive as i can in any circumstance. can't say it works all the time, but when i do try to be more positive, i find i become a happier kid.

well since you asked... haha... when i go back to chch i'm going to...

a) go for a crusaders game (it's rugby by the way)

b) serve on the Every Nation team again (miss being on band)

c) haven't really figured that one out yet..

the only things i'm not really looking forward to are the journey back, the unpacking (every year i accumulate more and more stuff. not good), uni enrolment, and... the homesickness. but those are just minor details, which i will get to when i cross that bridge. meanwhile... i'm going to make the most of my 2 weeks here, eat, spend time with friends and family, and be happy :) so if you're reading this, and you're in penang, and you know you'll miss me when i'm back there... ask me out!! ;D

Denise Ong!

if you want something, you have to make the effort to get it.

if you want things to change, you have to get off your bum and change them.

no more waiting around for people to help you. you have to do it yourself.

swallow your pride and just go do something about it!

count your blessings, name them one by one

no matter what you're going through, someone else somewhere on this earth is or has gone through something worse, or of equal pain.

i can't say that my life has been easy these past few months. friends are always a problem for me whenever i come back to penang... or rather, lack of friends. i know it's partially my fault for not putting myself out there more to socialise with people, so haha yeah there it is. it's also difficult to have good friends become hi and bye acquaintances, but the world keeps spinning and things change. so there. but thankfully, i have some friends who've stuck with me throughout the years, and who still make time and energy for me. thanks guys!

and my family, who has always been my comfort, and where i run to for rest when the world seems too cruel for the time being... well, let's just say we've been a bit shaky lately.

but all that seems like dandruff (dandruff?!?) when compared to another person's plight. don't want to get into stuff that's not my own. yes, my "problems" irritate and hurt me, but i feel a bit silly making a big fuss of them when i compare them to other people who have to for example, battle a terminal illness, or fight to have custody of a beloved child.

anyway, where is this (hopefully not self-pitying) post leading to?

i have a point, and it's this...that no matter what you're (I'm - I need to keep reminding myself too) going through, there is always something to be thankful for. and as the title, (which i got from a sermon i just listened to with my dad, which was quoted from... the bible?) says, count your blessings, and just so they become clear to you, name them one by one. i find that helps especially during trying times. cos it's easy to name your blessings during the good times, but when it comes to being in the desert, suddenly i don't even feel like being positive.

so why not start today?

today i'm blessed with good health.

and i got to go visit Paragon for the first time AND see Lim Guan Eng in person. what? i've never seen him live before.

:(

caught in between a rock and a hard place.

i want to be anywhere but here.

i miss playing for praise and worship :(

anyone like to jam with me?