New Blog

Ah, so I managed to recover this old blog. But just to let everyone here know that as of now, I will be shifting my writings to a new blog. Why? Because for a while there I thought I couldn't get access to this blog. Actually it's a really silly reason which could have been fixed very easily if I had known how.

But, I think it's a good time for a change. New things should be better right? Well, let's hope so.

So this is my new blog:

Musings 2

Do visit!

from my window

Summer (a gloomy day)

Early autumn with beautiful sunset.

Snowy Winter

so, been experiencing blogger's block lately... no inspiration to write, or rather, have inspiration- too lazy to put them into words. is that what happens when you write for work (yea i'm using the term work very loosely here for want of a better word. enlighten me), and somehow writing for fun also seems like a chore?

but i have been drawing, and umm... shamelessly taking pictures of myself. sigh, i need to get out more...

actually, this post was written just so i could put these pictures up. there! i said it. i am shameless afterall.

ok i promise a thoughtful and well-written post will come sometime or another. sometime. or another.
right after i clear the clutter in my computer.

new landscapes to explore

i'm designing and conducting my first experiment (testing some linguistics theory) in my whole uni life this term. isn't that kind of sad? and is it a bit too nerdy to say that i'm sorta quite maybe enjoying it? haha... well, after many many essays; report writing and something more sciencey is a good change i think. although, i do like writing essays, and i enjoy all my social science classes. but sometimes, i feel like the analytical, procedure following person in me (if that person ever existed) is not given a chance to come out and play. in all fairness, i must add that, i'm as good as following procedures, and as analytical as... probably a dog is at counting. dogs nowadays can probably count huh? i wouldn't know... mine doesn't.

anyway, i now understand how engineering students feel about writing essays, because that's how i feel about writing my report. slow. arduous. painful.

well, at least in this class i get to know my classmates better by working with them. we're testing some japanese speakers in my group. which in a way, got me watching anime. and that's really saying something because i hate anime. but i've found some that i don't detest... spirited away, howl's moving castle.. basically most stuff from studio ghibli i guess.

don't ask me what the point of this post was... i just write to destress.

anyhoo, i'll leave you with this. because i can :P

Denise and The Hunger Games

I've just finished reading The Hunger Games trilogy... and you know the deflated, nothing-is-going-to-be-as-good-again feeling you get when something incredible ends? yeah... that was me after i finished Mockingjay. and yeah, i know i'm really behind in picking the book up, especially when it was highly recommended to me by a friend some time back. meaning, before the movie came out. lol. but initially i wasn't too keen on reading a book about how teens kill each other... i mean, how gruesome is that?

but then, i watched the movie, got me interested to read the book, and here i am... just sighing and wanting more of it after i gobbled up the entire series in less than a week. yes, i thought it was that good, and i would definitely recommend that you read it too. although, it's classified as teen lit or whatever. Suzanne Collins' writing is witty and thoughtful at the same time, and i literally couldn't stop turning the pages. spent a few late nights with the book glued to my hands. haha why is this beginning to sound like a book review? yup, how much more nerdy can one get?

apparently much much more, because (spoilers alert! you might want to stop here if you want to read the book or catch Catching Fire -haha pun intended!-, the adaptation of the second book in cinemas later) i'm just going to gush about how i'm so glad Katniss ends up with Peeta in the end. yay Peeta. don't worry, i'm not going to go into the whole Team Gale vs Team Peeta debate because that's just so Twilight... but i've always felt that Peeta has all the characteristics that complement Katniss so well. like he's able to make her see things in a way that makes sense, and well.. he's always loved her so unconditionally. while Gale and Katniss are just too alike in temperament. i guess that's why i tend to look for guys who have somewhat different characteristics from mine; who will complement me, rather than overshadow or imitate mine.

also, did anyone other than me feel really hungry while reading it? man all that mention of the food they eat... i believe half of the book is about food... and of course, bread...

anyway, i should really stop because this is starting to sound more and more like literature class than just a typical breezy post... also, i'm starting to sound like a squealing tween girl in her Team Peeta t-shirt. not good... not good at all.

Happy Hunger Games.
And may the odds be ever in your favour! 

battery draining

don't you feel that dealing with people can be exhausting sometimes? people can say the most hurtful and idiotic things. i'm sure they mean well and probably don't even realise they meant what they said, but still... it's energy sapping just to be in their presence/conversation.
but then, i probably contribute to a lot of the world's verbal junk as well. probably somewhere around me, someone is finding me exhausting to be around.


sigh. i should learn how to listen, and think first before i even start saying anything.




and this is probably why, i like to spend time alone and apart from people sometimes. i'm just less difficult to hang around with to me.

the Adelaide files (part 1)

hello!
so as promised... here's a part of Adelaide i tried to take home with me to share. i didn't really document the whole trip but yeah, here are the snippets of it.

Adelaide CBD

one of the things that really stood out to me about Adelaide was how similar it is to Christchurch. The squarish and easily navigated layout of the streets in the CBD, the flatness of the land, and the general rustic and rather leisurely pace of life they have there. I later learnt that the same person who designed Christchurch also designed the South Australian colony of Adelaide. so yeah... i can see why it seems like i stepped out of Christchurch into... hold on... another Christchurch? but i have to say, Adelaide is definitely more advanced than good old CHCH, for one, they have a functional city centre, and a pretty decent public transport system. tram rides around the CBD area are free, which was a sweet deal for us because we lived in the city during our short stay there. Although, I have to say the ticketing system could be improved further.


Anyway, pictures...

Beautiful heritage houses on North Terrace, sort of their Gurney Drive minus the seafront. Don't they look so gorgeous? All I wanted to do there was sing "On the street where you live" from My Fair Lady. Can totally imagine Freddie singing that outside Professor Higgin's house. haha.

Outside my sis's campus

On North Terrace are where the universities are situated. I've never really seen two unis as intertwined as Uni of Adelaide, and UniSA. Seriously, there'll be parts where it's Uni of A, and then there'll be a random UniSA building right beside it. but all very old and pretty. 

And the architects who designed the buildings here really REALLY love their turrets and towers. 

I can never resist paper lantern lights

Rundle Mall - shopping area

One of the places we went almost everyday (because we lived nearby, and also, my sis lives right behind the shopping district), was Rundle Mall. It's more like a street lined with shops and cafes than an actual mall like how we're used to back home. So it was like our rendezvous place. The picture on the right is an old Arcade (that's what they used to call shopping malls in the past)... isn't it just deliciously heritagey? love the tiles.

Chinatown

I'm sorry to say I don't have many photos of Chinatown. this is one of the more decent ones. They have two foodcourts selling various kinds of Asian food from all around Asia there. jealous much! really wish we had a real Chinatown here in Chch. that would really solve our "so where do we go for lunch?" questions after church.




and yup, that's it for now.. I decided to break up my trips into a few posts, just because it's hard to manage my photos on blogspot. and so I can do it leisurely. til next time.

your disease? not mine

i'm probably just one of the many many people who say this but, since when has singlehood become a curse? or disease?

now i've been single for almost a year and a half now, and boy have i had my

fair share of advice on my sell-by date:

"so, you're not getting any younger now", "the clock is ticking tick tock"

worries that i might end up an old maid:

"you'll become a spinster!!!" *horrorshockgasp*

"when is your turn" jokes

yeap it can get pretty annoying... i mean, what's wrong with being single? i just haven't found the right person yet, and i just don't see the point in getting involved with someone i can tolerate just so i'll have someone to take me out on friday nights and so on. i'm getting to a point where i'm starting to be comfortable just being me, and for that matter, enjoy my independence... but when society comes up with stuff like that, you just gotta wonder, why the stigma on singlehood. is it such a bad thing? in the old days, it prolly wasn't good for a lady to be single cos women were not supposed to work then, so she would need a man to provide for her. but now, times are a-

changing. guess we should change with them.

and maybe i might not marry at 25 as planned (that's quite impossible at this stage i think haha), or maybe not anyone in the end, but i think i would totally be fine with it until people start criticising and commenting. just putting it out there that maybe single people can be happy too :)

sneak peak for my next post:

not a very well-framed picture i'm afraid...

my amazing friend

is it weird that i get more sleep on weekdays compared to weekends?

anyway this post isn't about me. for once? haha sorry, i know i tend to focus the attention of this blog to myself a lot... but just this once... let me tell you a story about a friend of mine.

well, i have this friend, and she's one of the most courageous and resilient person i know. she came back, against all odds, to continue her studies without knowing how she would be able to get the money to fund her final year of studies. first off, you should know that nz has this really strict policy for international students that you have to pay your fees and be able to show that you have enough funds to survive the year, before they approve your visa. it's a real drag, and sometimes it makes us internationals feel like criminals or something like that.

anyway, she felt that her time here in nz wasn't over yet... if God brought her to nz, H must have had his reasons and He couldn't just bring her there to drop out so close to the end right? so she braved all her doubts and fears and hopped on the plane back here, fully knowing that if she doesn't get the money needed, she'll be deported on march 31.

door after door was shut, disappointment after disappointment. she just amazes me with her strength and her determination to just hold on and not give up, when most (including me) would have given up and despaired long ago. i know it's really hard on her, and i know she's already shed many many tears over this, but she just chooses not to give up on her miracle. even though she knows her future here is uncertain, she still gives her all in leading life group with me, and in her club, church, studies etc. that, in her actions itself, speaks of unwavering faith that just throws me, when i think of it. i can't imagine how she's feeling, but i know she's doing all she can to have faith in the One who supplies all our needs.

so yeah, it's the 25th of march now... and another bank loan has been rejected. we're still praying for a miracle. and i just can't lose her yet, not in a weeks time anyway!

it's not a victory story yet... but i believe it will turn out to be one. i just thought i'd share the story of my amazing friend.

23

so this morning i woke up and became 23.

how does one feel 23? cos i'd like to say i still feel 21, with all my 21 year old's hopes and dreams and ambitions. but the thing is, i'm not. i have my very 23 year old feelings, and thoughts, and experiences which will never make me 21 again. even so, knowing what i do now, i don't think i would want to turn the clock back. as they say, the future is always brighter... isn't it?

happy birthday denise.

be happy. this is your year of favour and increase.

would you like to see my birthday present this year? i had the best one ever.

over the weekend, i went for a camp/retreat at kaikoura with some fellow uni students from church. and one of the things we did was go for a walk along the slopes to clear our heads and take in the sights. and i was just trying to take in all the beauty and tranquillity around me... it was mesmerisingly beautiful, i only wish i could capture it all and put it in the pocket of my mind, to take out when i needed it later.

so yes, i am 23. and the 23 year old me can't wait to make something good of this year.

not being able to think up a title

hello dear people who still visit once in awhile.

would you like a report of how i'm doing?

well, let's see... i've got my lost luggage, just collected my visa (phew!), and now still looking out for jobs. so i'd say that i'm doing good. but besides those things, i'm keeping myself busy, or rather, seem to have lots of stuff to keep me occupied. which is great... cos i don't much like being idle and bored at home (haha says the girl who spent her entire summer hols not working at all). but in my defense, i didn't idle the whole time then...

also, i think i've gone a little more blur than usual... my flat has this policy of not playing music after 11pm, which kinda sucks for me cos i don't sleep that early AND i usually have my music player on, or watch movies at night (after doing assignments what). anyway, today i promptly put my headphones on at 10.55pm, and yeah played my music as per usual. then at midnight i realised that while i was wearing my headphones, they weren't plugged in! so i think i must've really pissed off my flatmates for over an hour, while i was happily listening through my speakers. i actually even remember gloatingly thinking to myself, "hah! i can play as loud as i want cos i have my headphones on", when a particularly noisy song came up . epic fail! haha.

on a not so silly note, here are some pictures of the new place i shifted to in chch. now they're not really good or complete pictures, but just so you get a slice of what i see :)

this is the view from my window. yes i get to spy on anyone who goes in and out of the place. muahaha. but they also get to see me through my window :/

this is my room. i know i didn't take this picture very flatteringly but lookie... i haz my own sink!




















and this here is my work table. yeah a tad messy, i haven't really figured out a way of arranging everything so it looks more aesthetically pleasing, but within reach.

and no picture post would be complete without a camwhore pic no?

the baggage trail

a guy from airasia contacted me today regarding my very tardy luggage. apparently it's still stuck at the LCCT but at least they've identified that it's mine. so after some rush scanning and emailing back and forth between us, i think i might just get Ol' Suitcase back on thurs.

please please please let us be reunited! i know a lost luggage might not seem like much to others, but i feel like it's a wedding and the maid of honour is missing. or something. well, i like to plan, and i'm quite ocd about having order and stability around me. so i haven't really been in the mood to settle down yet. gosh denise, stop being so rigid! but yeah, lately, i believe God has been teaching me so much about loosening my tight grip on wanting everything to go as i planned, and to trust that His timing is perfect. and also wow... that He'll bless me even more than whiny me deserves. His love never fails!

pray i have good news to report back on thursday! :D

again?

sitting in the middle of a half unpacked room.

nothing like the act of settling in to induce homesickness. who would have thought, after doing this for the 3rd time, i would have at least gotten the hang of it. knew what to expect and counter it. but the silly thing is that the simplest and most mundane tasks are sneakily turning up to remind me of home, and the people i left there: "why on earth would you want to leave, denise?".

at the risk of being sentimental, it's probably the jet lag and tiredness kicking in that is starting to make me compare here and home, and unfortunately, here is coming up short. as i've left a home for half a home. for now. wait til i get around to organising this place up to my liking.

mm so tired. i should go.

i miss home.

i don't like saying goodbye

never say goodbye because goodbye means going away, and going away means forgetting

-J.M. Barrie

when it comes to saying goodbye, it's almost always sad.

:(

like dad?

so i've heard people saying that girls tend to look for guys who resemble their fathers and vice versa (guys looking for girls who are like their moms). well, based on my experiences when it comes to guys, i find that to become more and more true. of course, this will vary according to each person's individual relationship with their parent, am i not right? but in my case, i feel that i naturally tend to gravitate towards guys who are patient, and goofy and chill, like my dad.

my dad has always been the only male in the family, even the dog is female! wonder how he feels about that haha.. so he's always had to be the strength in this family. but what i admire most, is the way he cares for us. dad is the one who goes out to buy food for us when we decide to eat in, carry bags and shopping stuff for us, make sure we don't get wet when it rains, and when mum was still working full time, he even went marketing for her.

of course, like any human he's not perfect.

but yeah, living with him has made me more aware of some of the qualities i want in a guy. and i guess, it's not too much to ask for is it? i don't care for someone who lavishes me with gifts but leaves me crying at night... just someone who is able to provide and who loves and cares for me :)

i think all the valentine's day hype is starting to have an effect on me. what is with this post? lol i have no idea, and no i'm not bitter about spending this 14th single. in fact, it's quite enjoy seeing what outrageous lengths some guys go to to make their gfs/wives happy. and listen to other people's love stories. so sweet. so yeah, i think this is going to be a good valentine's day for me compared to last year's. i'm surrounded by people i love who love me back, and the greatest love i will ever have. i think that's good enough for me :)

that time again

beautiful christchurch, beautiful penang

i'll be leaving penang in... give and take... about 2 weeks time.

while the feeling of doing nothing, sleeping in til noon, and having mum take care of basically everything, is soooooo luxurious and comfortable... i have to say, the busy bee side of me (wait..?! i have a busy bee side?) is raring to get out of this idleness and start doing something! and obviously, once i go back to christchurch, it's no holds barred back to work again. and having to take care of myself again :/

even so, it's not all work and no fun going back. for the moment at least (until i finally settle down somewhere), penang is my holiday place, my respite, my tropical paradise if you will. chch is where work happens, where my life is at the moment, where i feel most alive and motivated. i'm sure anyone who has ever left home to study or work will be able to understand what i mean, though i present it in a very confusing and rambly manner. this is not how i planned this blogpost to be, but i'll just be an organic writer tonight and let my ideas branch out and take shape as i go along, without too much pruning.

so, as always, i'm in two minds about going back to nz. but since i will be going back... i suppose i should motivate myself more so i can look at the bright side of things. yeah it's this new thing where i try to be as positive as i can in any circumstance. can't say it works all the time, but when i do try to be more positive, i find i become a happier kid.

well since you asked... haha... when i go back to chch i'm going to...

a) go for a crusaders game (it's rugby by the way)

b) serve on the Every Nation team again (miss being on band)

c) haven't really figured that one out yet..

the only things i'm not really looking forward to are the journey back, the unpacking (every year i accumulate more and more stuff. not good), uni enrolment, and... the homesickness. but those are just minor details, which i will get to when i cross that bridge. meanwhile... i'm going to make the most of my 2 weeks here, eat, spend time with friends and family, and be happy :) so if you're reading this, and you're in penang, and you know you'll miss me when i'm back there... ask me out!! ;D

Denise Ong!

if you want something, you have to make the effort to get it.

if you want things to change, you have to get off your bum and change them.

no more waiting around for people to help you. you have to do it yourself.

swallow your pride and just go do something about it!

count your blessings, name them one by one

no matter what you're going through, someone else somewhere on this earth is or has gone through something worse, or of equal pain.

i can't say that my life has been easy these past few months. friends are always a problem for me whenever i come back to penang... or rather, lack of friends. i know it's partially my fault for not putting myself out there more to socialise with people, so haha yeah there it is. it's also difficult to have good friends become hi and bye acquaintances, but the world keeps spinning and things change. so there. but thankfully, i have some friends who've stuck with me throughout the years, and who still make time and energy for me. thanks guys!

and my family, who has always been my comfort, and where i run to for rest when the world seems too cruel for the time being... well, let's just say we've been a bit shaky lately.

but all that seems like dandruff (dandruff?!?) when compared to another person's plight. don't want to get into stuff that's not my own. yes, my "problems" irritate and hurt me, but i feel a bit silly making a big fuss of them when i compare them to other people who have to for example, battle a terminal illness, or fight to have custody of a beloved child.

anyway, where is this (hopefully not self-pitying) post leading to?

i have a point, and it's this...that no matter what you're (I'm - I need to keep reminding myself too) going through, there is always something to be thankful for. and as the title, (which i got from a sermon i just listened to with my dad, which was quoted from... the bible?) says, count your blessings, and just so they become clear to you, name them one by one. i find that helps especially during trying times. cos it's easy to name your blessings during the good times, but when it comes to being in the desert, suddenly i don't even feel like being positive.

so why not start today?

today i'm blessed with good health.

and i got to go visit Paragon for the first time AND see Lim Guan Eng in person. what? i've never seen him live before.

:(

caught in between a rock and a hard place.

i want to be anywhere but here.

i miss playing for praise and worship :(

anyone like to jam with me?