Musings

i've got news and yet i haven't got em. or news that would interest anybody that is. or maybe i've just lost my touch.


work is taking up most (roughly 3 quarters) of my time and when i get back, i'm way too exhausted to look into my soul to think of what to write about. everyday i mentally kick myself for voluntarily agreeing to torture myself, but together with it comes the feeling of being useful, and of course... being able to support myself for the first time in my life. it's exhilirating. okay, maybe not so, but it's a good feeling. yay i'm self-sufficient even if by doing it i have to sacrifice a lot of my me/ friends/ boyfriend/ family time. which is why i now see the importance in doing something that you like. imagine being stuck at least 9 hours a day stuck in a job that you hate? it's enough to make one cry. yes, i'm living the "work-to-wait-for-lunch-and-then-to-go-back" life now, but hey it's only temporary so i can deal with it. $$$ and the fear of idly rotting at home again ala august and september are my only motivation.


it's not a certain thing yet, but i think (forgive me for sounding so uncertain) i'll most probably take up University of Canterbury's offer and study English there. please please don't give me the quizzical look or ask me what will i be working as after i graduate. lol. i know it's a very unconventional choice of subject but... well i don't know how to explain it so i'll just give my head a break and not try. maybe another day when i'm more... awake? anyway, the low-down; if i do go ther to study, i'll be gone (sob sob i know i'll be dearly missed) for 2 1/2 years in christchurch which fyi, is in new zealand's south island. google to find out more. the sucky part is that i can't skip as many credits as i would've liked to cos i'm changing to a whole new area. so, my dip in mass comm doesn't help me much if i were to do english.
now all i need is peace of heart to know that i've made the right decision.


i'm starting to see stars so it's best i stop now. goodbye!