i need... peace of mind

tired... of finding a place to live. i start work a week (plus plus) away and i haven't got a place yet. tomorrow will try a place in pj where my friend said had an opening and see how it goes. if only angkasapuri wasn't so far.

at the moment, i don't even know if it's even God's will that i go. there's been so many problems so far, the biggest being not having a place to live. there're some other problems which i hope will be solved tomorrow. please help me pray people, i really need your prayer at this time, i need to know if i'm doing the right thing, and that the apartment i might be renting is the right place to stay.

rojak

26th december. the day after christmas. also, the day most of us finally stop to catch a breath after the flurry of christmas activities prior to christmas and christmas itself. this year was rather low-key compared to the previous years festivities. but then, Jesus is the reason for the season. i stopped by gurney drive on christmas eve and it was jam packed with people in santa hats and spray cans... and get this... devil's horns! hello you people... horns on christmas?? what were you thinking? they were all dressed in their best and skimpiest, all out to have a great time spraying one another and passing cars. makes me wonder, do they even know the true meaning of christmas? or why people celebrate christmas in the first place. whoever is trying to sabotage christmas is definately doing a great job of it. i was talking to joo tatt about it and he commented that you don't see people going out to party and stuff on other religious hols (eg. wesak day), do you?

anyway, 2009 is coming. i'll do my end year review somewhere along this week because i don't want to think about it right now. and just to let you guys know... i'll be leaving this congested but still beautiful-in-my-eyes island for even more congested and ugly kl very soon. in about 2 weeks i think. for my internship. fyi, i'll be working in RTM until mid March because NTV7 rejected me, well they did accept me before but to a chinese department which i didn't want. so they rejected me after that. now i've got a problem finding a place to stay and people to live with me there. sigh sigh... i don't wanna go...

but let's not be weepy and all now. i want to enjoy what's left of my time here while i can. afterall, it's only for 2 months plus right?

so... here's a short summary of the christmas drama. praise God everything went smoothly and we were very blessed throughout not to have any major injuries or mishaps. althought, personally, i felt that the sermon on the 2nd and 3rd day were a tad too long... but then, it was all good. actually i wrote this summary cos i wanted to post some of my pictures up. haha. yea. people take pictures to show them off. i'm one of them, too bad.

with steph before the show sans makeup. we were so early we had loads of time to yak and warm the seats before the audience actually came.

the choir getting started. as usual, we sneak up and peep in from the wings.

with some of the people i hang out with backstage. the best part of being backstage is eating, talking loudly on the staircase leading to the stage and getting shuush-ed by the people taking care of us. heheh. it's all part of the experience.

wah i look abnormally pale lo. fair! i mean i look so wonderfully fair.

and this... i have no idea what they're doing... and i don't want to know.




onstage for the finale. i like the lights. wonder if anyone ever died from the smoke machine before?



with vivien and jolene



the people in my dance. don't we make such a colourfully-mismatched group? hehe.




with another crazy bunch of people. i don't know why we're all bending when we can all jz stand straight... hmm...




on christmas morning after we performed.

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we hope you enjoyed the show as much as we enjoyed doing it!

ve

i'm so bored

where're people when i need them?

*wallowing in self pity*

meanwhile... to continue with the christmas spirit.

gifts are welcomed this christmas. hehe.

am in christmas mood

i haven't been updating much have i?
currently having a swell time at home studying, attempting to study, and looking like i'm studying. they call it house arrest study break. christmas presentation coming, people are back, pretty much everyone's on holiday... it's more than enough to drive a girl mad with distraction. but i must i must i must do well this sem. bring motivation back to denise.



anywaaayyy...

christmas is coming christmas is coming christmas is coming...























dec, always a month of happenings. let's see...

1. we have a small performance (carolling, dance etc.) in queens this sat at 7.30-ish,

2. annual christmas presentation at dewan sri next fri, sat & sun also at the same time (so i invite everyone to it first... it's F.O.C btw. so remember, if it's free, OF COURSE you should go.),

3. christmas day in traders hotel

4. christmas dinner (however i'm not going due to reasons you can ask when you see me. lol)

5. sleepover with the girls

6. and more stuff(s)



but... let me finish my exams first.



all the best to mel(vin) who'll be having exams nxt week as well.

not my essay

Karangan Terbaik UPSR 2007
Karangan budak darjah 4


Pagi itu pagi minggu. Cuaca cukup sejuk sehingga mencapai takat suhu beku. Sebab itu saya tidak mandi pagi sebab air kolah jadi air batu dan air paip tidak mahu keluar sebab beku di dalam batang paip. Pagi itu saya bersarapan dengan keluarga di dalam unggun api kerana tidak tahan sejuk. Selepas itu emak saya mengajak saya menemaninya ke pasar. Tetapi saya tidak mahu.

Selepas emak menikam perut saya berkali-kali dengan garfu barulah saya bersetuju untuk mengikutnya. Kami berjalan sejauh 120 kilometer kerana pasar itu letaknya 128 kilometer dari rumah. Lagi 8 kilometer nak sampai pasar saya ternampak sebuah lori kontena meluru dengan laju dari arah belakang.

Dia melanggar emak saya. Emak saya tercampak ke dalam gaung. Dia menjerit “Adoi!”. Lepas itu emak saya naik semula dan mengejar lori tersebut. Saya pun turut berlari di belakang emak saya kerana takut emak saya melanggar lori itu pula. Pemandu lori itu nampak kami mengejarnya. Dia pun memecut lebih laju iaitu sama dengan kelajuan cahaya. Kami pula terpaksa mengejar dengan lebih laju iaitu sama dengan dua kali ganda kelajuan cahaya. Emak saya dapat menerajang tayar depan lori itu. Lori itu terbabas dan melanggar pembahagi jalan lalu bertembung dengan sebuah feri. Feri itu terbelah dua.

Penumpang feri itu yang seramai 100 orang semuanya mati. Pemandu feri itu sangat marah. Dia pun bertukar menjadi Ultraman dan memfire pemandu lori. Pemandu lori menekan butang khas di dalam lori dia..lori itu bertukar menjadi robot Transformer. Mereka bergaduh di udara. Emak saya tidak puas hati. Dia pun terus menyewa sebuah helikopter di GentingHighlands dan terus ke tempat kemalangan. Dia melanggar pemandu feri yang telah bertukar menjadi Ultraman itu.

Pemandu feri itu terkejut dan terus bertukar menjadi pemandu feri semula lalu terhempas ke jalanraya. Pemandu feri itu pecah. Pemandu lori sangat takut melihat kejadian itu. Dia meminta maaf dari emak saya. Dia menghulurkan tangan ingin bersalam. Tetapi emak saya masih marah. Dia menyendengkan helikopternya dan mengerat tangan pemandu lori itu dengan kipas helikopter. Pemandu lori itu menjerit “Adoi..!” dan jatuh ke bumi. Emak say menghantar helikopter itu ke Genting Highlands. Bila dia balik ke tempat kejadian, dia terus memukul pemandu lori itu dengan beg tangannya sambil memarahi pemandu lori itu di dalam bahasa Inggeris.

Pemandu lori itu tidak dapat menjawab sebab emak saya cakap orang putih. Lalu pemandu lori itu mati. Tidak lama kemudian kereta polis pun sampai. Dia membuat lapuran ke ibu pejabatnya tentang kemalangan ngeri itu. Semua anggota polis di pejabat polis itu terperanjat lalu mati. Orang ramai mengerumuni tempat kejadian kerana ingin mengetahui apa yang telah terjadi. Polis yang bertugas cuba menyuraikan orang ramai lalu dia menjerit menggunakan pembesar suara. Orang ramai terperanjat dan semuanya mati.

Selepas itu emak saya mengajak saya ke pasar untuk mengelak lebih ramai lagi yang akan mati. Di pasar, emak saya menceritakan kejadian itu kepada penjual daging. Penjual daging dan peniaga-peniaga berhampiran yang mendengar cerita itu semuanya terkejut dan mati. Saya dan emak saya terus berlari balik ke rumah. Kerana terlalu penat sebaik saja sampai di rumah kami pun mati. Itulah kemalangan yang paling ngeri yang pernah saya lihat sebelum saya mati.




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*awestruck* don't you all wish you could write like that?

tell me...

why do people treat richer and more good looking people better?

why do caucasians/whites get better treatment here then locals?

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they are better than other people meh?

I DON'T THINK SO.

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wahaha i just love writing in broken english.

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why leh why?

smile. everything's gonna be alright.

I...

havent posted in so long...

i'm left with one miserable assignment which seems to multiply everytime i do it. Just when i think i've got in all under control, there seems to be something that i didn't do or need to add. and my lecturer has got all these impossibly high expectations for us... feels like i'm in a steam cooker. this is only my first thesis and citations, references, paraphrasing, searching, graphs, data are cooking me alive.

praise the Lord! don't complain.

saya pergi camp esok! of course i'm excited. this time i packed light... the only grouch i have about this camp is that it's only 3 days. not 4 like the previous ones. anyway, head spinning already. time to go.

pretty as pie

" I wish i had a pot belly.... It's unfortunate what we find pleasing to the touch and pleasing to the eye is seldom the same."

~Fabienne (pulp fiction)~

ok let me get this straight. i detest the movie pulp fiction. it's violent (the movie chronicles the lives of 2 hitmen), there's at least one bad word in every sentence (no kidding!), and it's hard to understand. probably because it doesn't conform to classic hollywood style of tellig a story from A to Z in a proper way. In here, it's X-M, L-K, A-B.... so on. very artistic and abstract. someone said this before, "it's a lil bit like jazz, where everyone pretends to like, but no one understands". but i kinda like jazz, so we'll take abstract painting in exchange?

anyway, that was the only line in the whole movie that i liked. it's part of my col assignment so i was forced to watch it. yeah i agree with her... who says having a pot belly is ugly or not attractive? what is ugly anyway? who makes the decisions for us? hollywood? magazine editors? i'm tired of conforming to what society thinks is beautiful. what if suddenly fat was beautiful, small eyes and flat noses were marks of "classic beauty"? isn't it surreal to think that the idea of beauty is... just something someone woke up one morning and decided like,"oh, i think today i'll make long legs hip today!". why do we let other people decide for us what is and what is not? i want to decide for myself.

these were just some random thoughts i had after the movie. if anyone would like to share their opinions, i'd like to hear. really really.

i think he (the pony)'s pretty.

some thoughts

these few days i've been doing a lot of thinking, in a good way. last saturday, pastor jim prophesied over me, saying some stuff... i'm only gonna highlight one. He said that God is going to use me but that i needed to sacrifice and let go (of my plans, etc) and submit myself to God's plans for me. i'm still human, so part of me was like... "Oh no... why me? what must i sacrifice?" but then, when i really thought of it after that, i'm glad it happened. you know, God has a plan for me... and that plan is bigger than anything i can ever imagine. yeah so it'll mean losing my dreams and my plans for my life; but then... i believe that God's plan for my life is so much more exciting and radical than mine could ever be. i'm scared of plunging into the unknown, losing what i cherish, but at the same time, the thought of it makes me quake with excitement.

today i feel blessed.

if people who have nothing have something to feel thankful about, what then i, who has everything?

am supposed to be writing my essay on why i think tv should be banned. sighs. i don't want to think... i just want to do some mindless 'don't have to think' work. this is just me complaining so bear with me :)

so i was researching a bit on the effects of tv viewing and gosh... it made me want to throw my tv out and renounce watching it forever. which of course i didn't. haha. it did however, make me pace around the house for an hour or so trying to occupy myself to avoid switching it on. Unfortunately, i did in the end. hard to change the habits of a lifetime.

do you ever wonder why you feel slightly woozy and tired after watching tv for too long? that's because the tv screen has this sorta hypnotic effect on us; you know, the ever changing colours, the brightness of the screen... it just keeps our eyes focused on every movement shown on tv while subliminal messages play with our brain.


anyway, november's coming. which means camp's coming. and i can't wait! i wish i could just fastforward through all of nov and just reach camp. it's always such a bleak month filled with nothing but assignments and worse of all, no hols for me.

guess i should get back to my essay.

things i want to do

i'm finally free to blog. *exhultations of joy*


when i have no time to blog, i'm usually bombardered with dozens of topics to write(type) about. but then, i've been swimming in a mudpool of research and racism (assignment topic) the past few days so had no choice but to push all those thoughts away and concentrate on malcolm X. fiery feller he.

i don't want to be deep and meaningful because i know i can be deep so i don't have to prove to anyone that i can write deep and meaningful posts.

so lalalala~ airhead post.


things i want to do (wish i could do)

1. eat ice creams on cones and stroll along the streets
the ice cream'll probably melt once i get out of the shop, and drip all over my favourite tee but who cares! i have my ice cream, i'm happy. that's all that matters now.

2. watch a movie out in the open air. sorta like drive-in cinema

3. cook with my boyfriend.
ahahaha oops! was it too big a hint? i know i can't cook, but he can. so i'll be sous chef. good idea.

4. tutor english
i'm serious! lol. i like english and besides, i already do tutor some of my friends a bit in col. but if u say i look like a teacher i'll kick your head (if i can reach it).

5. tea party with the girls.
always talk about having one but never had the chance to. let's have jap themed tea party with sushi and everything. yeah culturally wrong and so against tradition but who cares. i'm not a jap.

6. feed the ducks
...or fish or birds os goats. providing they don't eat your hand first.

7. swim with dolphins

this is under the must do before i die list.

8. eat fried worms

i can't think of any more things i want to do at the moment besides those. eating worms ranks really high on my list now. anyone wants to join me?

i abhor facebook

shooting shlooting shot

i saw a rainbow yesterday... obviously it was pretty. i was pretty exhausted then but somehow things like rainbows or stars or lights in between clouds make me forget my tiredness, at least for awhile.

yesterday i did a good deed. umm no, i didn't donate to charity.

didn't feed the hungry children

no, it wasn't adopting a child from an impoverished third world nation either.

heh ok now i'm a bit embarassed.

actually i helped my seniors by acting in their psa (public service announcements, you know... "tak nak" and all that?). i mean, they asked me to ahem 'star' for them and i generously put aside my time for them. ok no, i was just kidding! i mean, yeah i did act for them but it was no biggie. i would like to say it was quite fun but... it was actually rather boring. the endless waiting for your turn, reshoot reshoot reshoot... never did like shooting. but then, it was a new experience. like the photoshoot last year. what's next huh? vj-ing? that'd be cool i think. we should try everything once in life right?

so the theme was wife abuse (i think!). and my small part was of the grown up version of the daughter of the family. you know... showing the effects of seeing your mom getting beaten by your dad in the long run. had to act all emo and sad and disturbed. which wasn't that hard cos i just had to look serious and dreamy and sad. i was so afriad i'd burst out laughing halfway while the camera was rolling. lol.

today's the crying scene. haih. i hate to fake-cry.

actually, i've come to realise that i have no passion for film. as in, in dramas, commercials and the sort. but i do like studio productions (talk shows and stuff) and theatrical stuff. it's more fast paced and exciting and less complicating to me. for film, it's "silence on set, camera rolling, action!..... cut!! retake". boring stuff. but in the studio, you usually get to do it once only. there's no screwing up... plus, i like to do stuff that doesn't require me to move around from place to place and work at odd hours.

i always like before and after pictures.

so this is ths studio before the "live"show

and during. made me feel christmassy for an hour. felt quite dejected when it was time to pack up and get back to september.

i have one gripe: everything's always always in chinese. sigh!

another 'us' picture

i'm on hols now. for only a week though. but still... hols are hols, even if it's only for 7 days and even if it's jam packed with work work and more work.

my mom says i dream too much. by dream she means daydream, being idealistically blur, floating on air... do i? well i guess i do, if my mom mentions it... haih. is it a bad thing? cos sometimes i just slip into my own world (this makes me sound like i'm mentally unstable doesn't it?) and i can amuse myself my own way. but then, sometimes my thoughts get so noisy, especially at night when i can't sleep.

reality is depressing sometimes. dreaming helps cushion it...

...

first pic: denise in 'siok sendiri'

2nd pic: my sis. both pics taken with natural light. no photoshopping involved. but the pics are so wrong in a nice way. so nevermind.

3rd pic: erm hairband?

4th pic: during squash. oh gosh i look so messy.

*

the sky cried a lot today. my col canteen banjir-ed. heheh. cool.

but i kinda like rainy days. for one, it's nice and cold, and secondly... it's nice and cold :)

even sara enjoys it.

so...

it's ntv7.

so most probably i'll do a 3 month internship there.

unless they for some reason reject me.

gosh, don't know what to think of it yet. but it's got me feeling excited already. so starting jan next month, i'll be in kl. so people in penang, i know you'll miss me... but i'll be back! (haha how cliche). i really hope i get sent to an english department. i mean... it's NOT an option to send me to a chinese one!!!


so i guess, i should start scouting around for prospective places to stay, church etc.



i have just one small question: where IS ntv7?

wednesday

was in col from 8 to 5 today.

on afterthought, maybe it wasn't that long after all.

*

but after a long day of classes, and the humidity, made me a lil cranky.

hung out in the col gym room today. this is my second time there. the first was yesterday. haha.

in case you thought i had a sudden athletic fit, was kinda forced to go there. but to tell the truth, it's here, the athletic fit i mean. it's assignment time again, this time studio production; you know... talk shows, the martha steward show, bla bla bla...

*

which is pretty fun. compared to filming drama.

*

so we were in the gym room waiting for the studio to be opened for us to decorate. which made me a lot less cranky, especially once the fairy lights were turned on. so pretty! and you know me, i like pretty things :) my friend is pure genius. one of the few good things about today was ping pong. haha, i'm like not such a sporty person, but these few days, been very excited about sports. while this mania lasts... i'm glad.

*

our theme is christmas.

you wouldn't believe how hard it is to look for christmassy stuff at this time. at first we didn't have a single thing. but now... we have more santa hats than we need, a santarina costume only a 5 year old could fit into, enough leaves to build us a small jungle (i wanted boughs of holly and pine tree branches. but didn't know how to explain it in chinese, so nevermind) and lotsa balls for decorations (still need more though).

*

well anyway,

we go "live" on fri, yeah this fri... so if you can find the time, please keep my group in prayer (and that i won't lose my cool too. heheh. )

*

next week: shooting for drama commences pulak. gosh! i need a break! please let me rest on raya....

tripping

i usually don't blog about my outings. but variety is the spice of life no?

anyway, be prepared le, cos this is image heavy, like ann ann says.

so early in the morning, i (the baik hati) went to fetch this person from his house.

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yea ME. denise ong.

i wasn't trying to be cute. REALLY! i was actually scratchin an itch and asking for the cam. gosh, what crooked arms i have.

*

with him. mr world without strangers.

*

we went to tropical fruit farm in erm, teluk bahang is it?

had fresh mixed fruit juice. what a nice pink!

and fruit ice kacang.

*

ok so let's hear what the critics had to say...

i think he means "YUMMY!"

i give it a taste.

*

and then the ants start coming.

it's my fault le. too sweet.

what??

*

the toilets there are really one of a kind. very close to nature.

peeing with a view.

*

well who goes to teluk bahang and not stop to take photos with the dam right?

sweet pic. heheh.

"peace i've been to teluk bahang dam"

he made me do it!!

*

fast forward the ferry ride, highways... to the new Jusco! *da da da daa da daa* it's in BM by the way.

i was cranky with hunger. i know this looks far from cranky but just... imagine... ok?

*

finally!!! the food...

fried rice for him... it doesn't look that appetising here, but it's pretty good.

and nissin noodles for her. not bad le. i mean, how different can maggi mee taste right?

*

why so serious?

not any more...

*

and of course...

need i say more?

haha.