in everything, give thanks!

Team Hoyt

a very touching video my friend sent to me. so just wanted to share it. always when i see these videos, i feel so ashamed that i so often take things for granted. that sometimes life gets me so busy that i don't even stop to smell the roses and thank God for each beautiful day.

and God created all of us perfect in His sight. small, big, dark, tall... wtv. so who am i to complain about my body when some people are just glad to be alive?




.

sara

i look at sara... she's lying so comfortably on the floor/couch



so, mostly i think... i have a great life. i have friends who love me, a great family, things are working out for me... and i love them all. and i squeeze her (sara) tightly because i just want to pour out that love that's overflowing in me.



then sometimes... i see her sleeping so peacefully oblivious to everything around her. and i envy her. i envy her

all the times she doesn't have to wake up early to go to school or college,
every paper she doesn't have to sit for,
every pain she doesn't have to endure,
every guilt she doesn't have to feel (except for messing up the house),
every anger she doesn't have to feel,
every tear she doesn't have to shed.

she gets to sleep throughout it all while i have to face everything.

back! and other stuff

i'm back! emo depressed denise has gone and emotionally stable denise is back. and hell yeah, it's good to be back! hello again.

just realised that i haven't been taking pics for some time. i look weird in them la. my eyes get all so squinty and small... ah why was i blessed with small eyes??? when i smile, my eyes get small... when i laugh, you can't see my eyes anymore. saaaaddddd.... but well, it's not like everybody has small eyes. humph! you couldn't have them even if you wanted to. so there.

she stole my big eyes

one more has flown off. alarize. haih... soon everyone'll be gone and i'll be the welcome wagon lady when they come back to visit. better start printing the 'welcome home' banners d. still waiting patiently for my turn to come. patience... is something i really have to work on. mental note: don't shout at mel impatiently so often. shout at him patiently instead. haha.








so, open day's finally over. the most hellish days of my col life so far. good thing i won't be there to help next year *cross fingers* . yeah fine... so i am a bad ungrateful student. what's it to you? all the work and the hours we put in working and waiting and wasting time waiting for work to do... i was bored ok. BORED!! and unhappy. and i was fired too. yeah you heard right... fired. for coming late 2 days before to prepare for it. it doesn't really matter, i mean, yeah i'm a bit bummed ler... who wouldn't right? and it's kinda tough seeing other people do the job i was supposed to do (running around and bossing people), but then, on the plus side, i got to laze around and be totally lazy and unreliable and irresponsible... but crap! i realise that i just can't. i just can't sit around and do nothing. i've got to do something or die of extreme boredom. and explorers will have to excavate my remains from the stadium the next day.


but still... it's an experience. my first time getting fired. no, not a very nice experience i assure you.



i'm getting some of my joy back. it's still in the process... but i'll get it back. have been running on empty these past few days. so i'm filling it back up. God bless all you people! :)

happy colours

birdcage.

low of lows.

waves. i'm walking towards the water.

if only i could drown them.

my sorrows.

love.

is sometimes a trap.

roses with thorns.

me.

and then you.

backed in a corner.

with no way out.

cut our hands to free ourselves.

pain. then hurt.

then oblivion.

unfaithful me.

when birdcages turn to houses.

then is the soul.

free.

today is

the longest day of my life.

ok maybe not the longest.. but somewhere there. i know i know i know and i know that i shouldn't complain and all, but i'm just so dead tired, dead frustrated and i just feel so helpless. i just need to let it out ler *deep breath*

(one of) the longest day of my life... sucks.

crunchtime

i forced myself to get up at 8.30 today to go to col.

8.30! when i have no classes.

hardworking.

haha.

more like panicking.

countdown to exams: less than 24 hours (lazy to do the math)

12/3

it happened last year, and hey! what d'you know? it's happening again this year.

and yes dearies, i'm talking about spm results. what were you thinking? *eyes wide open* anyway, i guess the previous year's spm-ers... meaning the ones getting their results on the 12th, must be shitting in their pants rather anxious and afraid. unless of course you're a genius or you don't care.

i still remember every sordid detail of last year's 12th. not a very happy day for me. although i did get patrick (dog, dog ok. he's a dog) and the cake (which was really yummy).

anyway, i just want to say (from a person who's already been there and done that)... all the best, you getting-results-people. don't take it too hard if you didn't do as well as expected (like me), there's still life after bad results; and congrats to the ones that did well with flying colours. btw, why flying colours? it always makes me think of the exam paper and rays of the rainbow shooting out from it. what's so great about colours with wings? get good results then colours can fly ah?

this year's 12th (of march) is gonna be pretty happening for me too. exams. yay. i have to tackle 2 papers of boring plus boring-er subjects in one day so, i need as much prayer as you can pray for me. that said, i think it should be one heck of a day. a good one i hope.

brochures

*ta-daahhh* the brochures. which i've mentioned before in one of my previous posts. i know it's small (can't really see me. ah what a waste) but anyhow you get to see the big picture (lol! pun intended). and i must say, they're far better looking than the previous year's brochures for my col. and that's NOT because i'm in them *ahem* haha. though maybe it's a bit because of that.

anyway, the coolest part about it is that only 2 of the 6 people are actually from this col. the rest are not. *cough*canyouseeanninthepicture*cough*

and credit goes to photographer xin yi and alan for the wonderful (free) pics
http://alanleesh.deviantart.com/gallery/

haha.

the posters are out.

i look annoyingly cheerful

anyway this is me trying to look accountant-ish but failing miserably. i think i look more librarian. anyway, they lent me a jacket/coat which according to a friend, made me look like a reporter (??!!!?)