reads (faedah membaca)

whoa... didn't know my "accident" could generate so many responses. so , i guess it's true la... if you want a lot of comments... know what to do; fall splat on your face! (more dramatic) and maybe break something. then wow! i'm sure there'll be milions of replies comin back. but, thanks anyway, for caring.

anyway, back to what i do best; which is uh.... well, whatever it is that i do best...

well, it's really hot and humid today. i finished "the blue dahlia" (anyone heard of it?). read it in 2 days. and what can i say? not bad.... even for a voracious reader like me. before you start applauding me, i have to say that i only and only like reading fiction. although, my mom is always nagging me to read more non-fiction. does the newspaper and dewan masyarakat count as n-fiction??? now, i know i know i know that reading storybooks (yea, fiction... chick lit, thrillers... all stories. maka, semua dipanggil storybook) won't make me any wiser and yes, let's not recall the frog under the tempurung proverb. hate that.

to brag a bit, i've tried a bit of shakespeare. but frankly speaking... apart from the narratives given in the book, i have to say that omgosh! why, oh why do you have to say in a freakin long page what i can interpret in a sentence? what thou writest is extremely long that thy givest my head to aches whenest i understand not thy writingst. give me prose anytime instead of poetry. what i can't deny is the obvious fact that the Bart wrote exceptional drama (very modern even for his time) and hell, even for a non-poetry enthusiast like me... his sonnets were... mind blowing in the least. yea, maybe i'm just sayin this because we have to learn sonnet 18 in school. so sue me.

also, i do realise that i make up maybe one tenth of the m'sian population who reads regularly. ok fine, label me a nerd. but i don't care. i like to read... i really do. it's not a hobby, it's just something i do everyday like, you know... watching tv or something. haha... told you i was a tv addict. well, believe it or not, there was one time that i absolutely loathed reading. my parents had to cajole, plead, scold, threaten,and bribe me into reading peter and jane 1A. hey, how come everybody grew up with peter and jane??? so, after i graduated book by book, my dad would buy me something. 1A was a man astronaut figure. 1B, i think was a melody churning grand piano (it was actually a jewellery box). and the rest... shall we say... was history. enough said.

" out dog! out cur! "
( from A Midsummer Night's Dream)

ok, i really really wanted to say that. *face-splitting grin*

really?? aww... i feel so honoured!

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embarrassment 102 (not again!)

i have two left feet. seriously, i just can't walk a few steps without toppling over my myself. help me! and i'm not even tall!!! i think i've been tripping and falling down ever since i've learnt to use my two legs. i have scars to prove it. *sigh* what's a girl to do?

another thing, i think i'm a certified embarrassment magnet. everywhere i go, i'll do something embarrassing to myself. it has been happening ever since i was young and guess what? it's still happening.

something really humiliating happened yesterday.

went out for supper with the guys; uh-huh.... it was raining and all when we reached sunrise (where we were supposed to meet the rest), so me and luke followed b-k to his house to get umbrellas. and; oh man... this is maluation. as we were walking out, i slipped on the steps and bamm!! slid down the remaining couple of steps on my posterior. yah, unbelievable? believe it.

major major embarrassment. but thankfully it was only them who saw my umm... downfall. haha. but of course (even if i have to say so), it was hilarious... couldn't help but laugh at my apparent lack of grace whatsoever. funnily enough, the guys didn't think it was too funny; nor did they really give a damn about the fact that it was my single most humiliating moment of the month (why... does it always happen?). i really love those people. all they did was make sure i was alright and left it at that.

well, another embarrassing moment to put up on denise's hall of unforgettable moments. seems like i have a knack for falling down stairs. up to where i can keep count, this has been the 3rd time i took a topple down the stairs. first, slipped and fell down the whole flight of stairs at home

(pathetic); second, missed a step at church and almost sprained my ankle plummeting down (shit happens, shit always happens), and lastly... my graceful landing as mentioned above for everyone to laugh at. i think i'll always be a klutz. what am i to do?

nonsensica

oh man... *groan* i think i over ate for dinner. i-feel-so-full.... shouldn't binge anymore. it doesn't pay to be gluttony, trust me, i know.

anyway, while we're no longer on the subject of my discomfort after over-consuming...

i find that (crap) i have nothing absolutely to blog about. talk about writeria blockeris. ok, i made that up. i'm bored... just trying to fill up space. see...see...see... it's pointless. you've caught me at a bad time, err... no wait, that's wrong. i've caught myself at a crapping mood.

hmm...this is just an observation, but to THE STAR readers out there, have you realised that as of world cup06, the star has featured kaka like almost everyday??? or at least every other day. i mean, everytime (ok, well, almost) i flip to the sports section of the paper, *ping* another article about AC Milan featuring kaka. or is it kaka with AC M only mentioned twice in very fine print? and voila! another large picture of kaka looking more like a male model than an international footballer. but of course.... that's not to say that i don't acknowledge his skills on the pitch though. and i also don't deny that he's eye candy but no, that's not enough to make him my footballer of the year. anyway, tell me why again am i getting into all this? ooh... i so like football!

i still haven't found anything substantial to write about. dang.

been very distracted lately. some things happened and well, i don't really know what to make of it/them. well, what else? it's a holiday nxt week (yayy!) and study break was canceled which means i go to school right to the last freakin day of school. *sigh*. of course, the last freakin day will most definately be full of hugging and crying and empty promises of catchin up after spm. i'm not being cynical (am i?) but tell me, how many of your friends do you actually hangout with after school has ended and for how long? can we? will we? hopefully. and i'm not really one to keep in touch after awhile. i know, bad habit. but i'll make an effort aight?

anyway, it's enough of nonsense for one day i think.

the brat says:

why can't we always get what we want?

why do we have to wait to get what we want?

why is it that whatever i want i never get?

why is what i want usually not good for me?

why can't i get what i want????

never thought i would ever sound like a spoilt brat right?

hahaha.... think again.

now that i've got that out of my system.

i just feel so frustrated you know... yes, there's this thing that i really want but i don't think i'll get it. it's really exausting and defeating wanting something so badly. and yet, you know that's never gonna happen. i'm trying to live with it; everyday i'm reminding and reminding myself to forget about it, move on, concentrate on more important things... but, it's HARD.

now that i've also got them out of my system...

i did something that made me happy the other day. i faced my apprehension, let go of my fears... i, i, i.... can't tell la. it's personal. all i can say was it made me deliriously happy but then made me crash from cloud 9 the next day. and NO, i did not do drugs or hard liquor. please... give me a break!* sigh* not now, i can't talk about it now....

hola! and greetings fellow homo sapiens who happen to be receiving tons of radiation just looking at this. yeah, me too.. but what to do? great, i sound like a geek. it's a sunny hazy saturday afternoon which i'm spending staying at home *sigh* so, can you blame me?

nothing much happening these lazy days. had a bad stomach day on thurs which worsen at tuition... maybe i shoudn't have eaten that char koay teow (yumm) and 5 sour+'s before that. aikz... oh, but then, i got to skip school on fri ya know.

and today, well... nothing much happened other than my parents coming home at 12pm to find my sis still in bed which ended with my mom throwing a hissy fit. i think my sis has issues about getting up. man, i hate to say this but, she needs professional help. lolx... or maybe the "dummy's guide to waking up". hmm... good idea for christmas.

other than that, been lookin through some uni/college brochures... and i have to admit, i'm falling in like with the Uni of Queensland. so far, i like what see... it could be a possibility, but the only obstacle is well, $$$ . but i'm still lookin.

leaving school: closing an old chapter

it has officially begun... the countdown to 'the day that shall not be named but i'll name it anyway' SPM. currently, it's 39 days to "it" (some joker in my class wrote a 1 to the 39 on the blackboard thus making it seem as if we had another year to study for it. har-har.) .

and 10 more days till i finish sitting at my wonderfully strategic spot in class, crapping and talking in our "hotspot", getting into scrapes and jubilant successes together. i'll even miss our recesses; when any1 trying a new food would share it around the table.

my class seems to have gotten closer this year . i guess cos we all know that it will be our last. *sobsob*. it has been a great journey so far... and i've felt so loved and a part of this wonderful family i just find it so hard to let go. in our small community, we bicker, make peace, support one another, complain, murmur, grumble, laugh, play, talk dirty jokes (haha), read someone else's newspaper and forget to do our hw together as a class.

somehow, amidst all this, we've all really grown up. through the year (this yr) we've really matured a lot and everyone seems to be viewing life from a different perspective than that of last year. of course, getting our driving licenses did help a lot in the maturing process, heehee. but...*big sigh* guess we're all really getting quite old now.

the upside of leaving school is of cos.....

MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE SLEEP!!!!! ~i love my sleep~

no more 6.25 wake up call for me. yea babeh! i can so deal with that.

college!

no more slaving for 11 subjects anymore. no more add maths, bio, phys, chem for me. oh goody!

new lifestyle, new outlook, new place (maybe overseas, i hope... oh, pls,pls come true), new people, new hot guys (i hope) and well, most things new i guess. must be more positive right?

umm... what else.... actually, i can't think of any now. not in college yet anyhow. but i think i'm gonna like it. but yeah, can't wait. maybe it's a good thing i'm leaving school after all. i don't know, maybe.

haiya... but first it's back to the slaving house first and torture chamber for umm, yeah... approx 2 more months. *groan***** how can i survive?

HORROR!!!

did you know that eating raw sushi or sashimi will cause you to get nerve damage and migrains??? reason being: raw fish is the ULTIMATE breeding ground of worms! (ring worms, tape worms...you name it we've got it). and this horrifying, disgusting, nauseatingly true picture (at least i think it is) that has traumatised me for life i think shows a man's brain (scalp bein cut into half) with omgosh! horror!! like zillions of worms and their larvae in almost every part imaginable in his poor poor brain. it's giving me the shivers just writing it down. i would put in the pic but i'm jz too grossed out to actually even look at it again.

*shudder*

now every part of me is starting to itch. yikes!

let's do something about it

this is so not going to be a sad, melancholic entry anymore. i am NOT going to feel blue and i'm sure my dear readers don't want me to be. don't u ppl?? anyway....

let's see... what can i talk about which is not saddening? not spm, no, definately not that...

ok, music then. so today, we watched the concert video of united live (the latest) and man! they really show the world what music really is. no, wait, that's not right... i'm sure there're other musicians in this wide, wide world who can produce better music but well, when it comes down to raw, hot, all-consuming passion for worship, u've got to hand it to these ppl. a no holds barred praise to God. you know, it's like this AWESOME thing that u really wished that u could be there in their midst doing something, but u can't. and it's really frustrating for me. cos i'm a doer... i like to be doing things and taking charge and i'm just itching to immerse myself in all this.

and that's why IGNITE and CHEQ UP (in Dec- pls ask me for more details if interested) is so important to me, to all of us... man, we have to get our act right! with God, with ourselves, with our talents, with our instruments/tools/whatever else that we use to acheive this... hillsongs standard. which is possible i know. to quote steph, there are only 2 rules for the United live worship team, be GOOD and CRAZY. yeah! if they can do it y not us?

i don't know how many people harbour this dream... of someday playing/singing on stage just like them and it just feels so fulfilling, so right to just lay bare our passion and pent-up energy and just.... worship. i know i do... i do,i so do. and i for one am going to acheive that. it's been my dream for too long now. so, people who share this dream... together we can aight?

Lord, send revival start with us...

left behind. as always.

my life is like a thread. or many threads in fact. and somewhere along the way, my life has been interwoven with the threads of many others. together, we have created a cloth of many patterns and colours.... some threads remain firmly in this cloth called life and some, gradually faded away in time. when i look at this unfinished cloth, i just want to hold on to the old threads and weave the same patterns as like before. but threads snap and needles prick, and all i can do is weave more of my thread into it and leave it to my Maker.

man, what am i talking about? absolute nonsense.

why is everybody leaving? somehow, people in my life always seem to be leaving me. while they move on to uncharted, new, fresh, exciting territory, i'll still be stuck here. left behind. all the time, i wish it was me who was leaving, not being left. they say absence makes the heart grow fonder... well maybe, but it definately doesn't make u grow any closer. in fact, it draws you apart, gradually of course. but maybe because i was never one to keep contact. oh well. they also say that when a door closes, a new one opens. that's bulls***. i used to have a really, really extremely good friend, the best even... yeah, well, she moved away. i was stuck here and until now, haven't found anyone to replace her. ever.

so you see..."they" whoever they are, shouldn't be writing up sayings and stupid proverbs cos, they know NUTS about it.