you're 52!

hmm... merdeka seems very low-key this year. penang goes about it's business as usual, without many flags and no major parades or countdown as per usual. how sad.

would you call yourself patriotic?

i never thought of myself as that. but lately, i've begin to realise that no matter how much i complain about the soap opera state of politics in this country (if parliament is that interesting, then something's very wrong people), the weather (but i definately prefer this to a freezing toilet seat in the middle of the night), race (ok, who doesn't?), the number of immigrants of whom i regard with utmost suspicion, public toilets (the least said the better), "broadband", and terrible drivers... deep down inside, i still love malaysia with the kind of love that will make me hit you if you bitch about my country. oh... and especially if you're not malaysian.

this is my country afterall. if i don't love it/her, who will?



so hoist up the flag and
God bless Malaysia

picture story

well i was too free so i decided to take a few nice pictures with sara, my fat lazy bundle of fur.

but then everytime i tried to take one with her...

failure.

see what i mean?? anjing yang menjengkelkan.

so i changed my mind and began to annoy her by taking pictures of her instead. close-up ones... muahahaha

then i got bored and started snapping pictures of myself instead.

oops! got too carried away.

cos it cracks me up?

how come i can think of so many witty things to blog about the moment before i close my eyes to sleep but it never comes when i'm sitting and staring at my computer? the irony. ishk. brain not functioning properly at the moment so be amused at something i found while reading ReadersDigest.

signs you're watching a low-budget movie:

• the word weekend, beach, party or naked is in the title.
• something tells you that Star Wars Episode II: Porky's Revenge isn't a george lucas production.
• during the dramatic scene of an ocean liner sinking, you notice a gigantic bar of soap floating in the background.
• half of the scenes begin with an actor peering into the camera saying "ok. it's working again."
• whe Godzilla jumps up, you can see his beanie babies label.
• the entire film is from a store surveillance camera.
• credits reveal that the movie's director is also the gaffer, grip, hair-stylist and caterer. (whoa does that sound familiar)

sing

....we look to Yahweh, Yahweh

our hope is Yahweh, Yahweh...

curently listening to yahweh on youtube for the third time. it's a really beautiful song; it's a really tough song and i've gotta learn it up. besides, i think it speaks to me at this very present moment.


sky oh sky... why do you cry? how am i to have some warmth if you don't stop pouring? why do you mirror my heart? i need some light, some hope. please pretty please can i have some?


a girl just want attention, affection, conversation, appreciation, love, respect, security. do that and she'll be willing to go all out for you.


deja vu. would you just sit back and let it happen again, or will you do something about it?

*

there's just something about the sand, the wind, the waves and the sunset.

makes you contemplate the world.

how small you are and how vast the universe.

how insignificant your problems and marvel at the beauty of the moment.

makes you realise that everything in the world has a purpose, a plan.

so wonderfully and intricately made; every detail lovingly crafted,

leaving no room for errors.

as my Maker designed me. so wonderfully and fearfully made.

back~

it's nice to be back home, but a lot of me still misses the "on vacation" feeling. you know how it is... when you're on holiday you just leave all your work/school/etc worries back home, and all you need to worry about is how to spend your money and what to eat next. but when you get home, it's back to reality again. so, it takes some getting used to. i'm still at the 'getting used to' stage.

bali is a really nice place but a tad pricey. i would use more adjectives but i'm supposed to pick my sister up from school in a few minutes time.

anyway, i'm still as free as a daffodil at the moment. haven't got any work to do yet and my dad (who's supposed to be my temporary boss... he asked me to be his secretary for the meantime) has yet to give me my first assignment. being too free gets kinda boring at times. but i'm enjoying the waking up at 10 or 11am every morning and breakfasting til whatever time i like without being nagged at feeling. lol.

ok, time to pick her up. toodles~

dear friends,

i should do this before i lose my nerve. *ahem* ok. here it goes.


to start with, i have this really bad habit/trait/characteristic/whateveryoucallit that whenever i don't like a person, or don't like a situation, just don't "feel like it", people will somehow know. how? well i just put on my moody long papaya face and isolate myself. and... i realised that well, it's bad and i might've hurt people doing it, and that probably explains why i have lesser and lesser friends (other than those who're outstation or overseas). nobody likes to be with someone who looks like a thundercloud and i really don't want people to be constantly asking jootatt what happened to me or what he did to me. i'm not saying this out of self pity or because i want sympathy. also not because i want to justify my behaviour... this is not a "my attitude is like that, so you've gotta accept me for who i am" moment.

i guess, what i'm trying to say is i can and i Will change. it's come to a point where i can't even stand myself doing it. yet, it's become like a habit. i used to think that when people called me proud or arrogant, it was because they didn't really get to know me... but now i'm actually snubbing my friends. people who know me. so there's something terribly wrong with that.
and the other thing is, i want to apologise to those whom have tried to be good to me but have been given the silent treatment/ snubbed/ answered rudely by me. believe me, i am sorry for that. i can't say that i'll change overnight and become miss sociable tomorrow. but i will try not to let my personal feelings affect how i treat other people. i try la.

oh gosh... so public. but i felt like i really needed to do this. but hopefully this'll be the last time i feel compelled to write something so personal here.

sabbatical day 3

finally! i've finished with my uni apps.
well... hopefully. lol. what was formally 3 unis is now... let me see... 7 unis?
omgosh... how am i going to decide when they all come back? so far, i've had one rejection :(
but whatever right. i know the right door will open for me. and it'll be the best option.
so, just sit and wait le. hopefully it'll all come back (successful) by the time i get back from bali.

bali bali balieeee~

to tell the truth, i have absolutely no idea what to expect there. all i know is that it's a pretty big island, just got bombed recently, and that it has one of indonesia's most notorious prisons. very welcoming ey. it's ok. lol. that way, i'll be totally blown away if it's really really pretty right? i hope it is. it's so easy to be a millionaire in bali. HAHA. first time.


had a brief farewell with some of my close college friends on monday. it's kinda sad really, another chapter of my life is about to close. and i doubt we'll be meeting up all that much due to distance. hey, i'm being practical here. plus, i've never been very good at keeping in touch. haih so many lost friendships. but here's a thought: i'll still be seeing them for graduation! i wanna wear a dress but exposed legs look weird in a gown/robe/cape? i guess it doesn't matter much what you wear inside right? you'll just be photographed wearing that massive ugly robe thing who knows how many sweaty people have worn before and after that have been kept in a cupboard filled with mothballs, trying to look scholarly. but since i worked my very hard for this moment, i guess i should savour it.

working very hard.

hmm i really have to learn to cook.

mini drama

exams started. and i forgot to take my exam slip. awesome right?

the thing is, i did not leave it at home but forgot to even get it from the office (which you're supposed to do at least a week before exams start). haih. so i was panicking throughout the whole car ride to col and the mini traffic jam... "what if the office is not opened? what if they won't give it to me? what if i fail because i can't sit for my paper?". you know la, when you're panicking everything seems dire. and thank God i was just in time! to take my slip, pay rm5 fine for lateness to collect :( and go to the exam hall to do my paper.

on hindsight it was probably much better than leaving it at home. good thing this is my last semester.

it's study break again

have been staying home since mon. except for short stints to the library and bible study on tues. here's where i'll start complaining right? aww... you know me! well i'm not. at least for now i'm not. was just thinking of how i'll be having a super duper long break (providing i don't have to retake anything) after this so might as well give it my best shot. since after i'll be having at least 2 weeks to bum around and complain about how bored i am. oh what about the rest of the time? well... here's where i laugh in your face and tell you i'm going for a smashing holiday and then lead a fabulous life buying fabulous things and getting fabulous beauty treatents everyday. wah i sound like a bimbo.

the first part's right though. haha! will be going for a (in my opinion) well deserved break.

but then i've got to get serious and get me a job. part time, can't be doing with the (counting with fingers) 9 hour 6 days a week jobs. i need something that can fill my days and keep me from amusing myself by picking the dirt off my fingernails (sounds disgusting i know) out of sheer boredom. but not something which will tie me up to the point that i can't do all the other stuff that i like. afterall, if everything goes as planned, i only have let's see... *august, september, october...* about 6 months left to enjoy dirty beaches, abu's maggi goreng, bahasa campur campur, and food whenever i want it... good food at that. shops closing at 5 stinks. i mean, who does that?

and that's why i love penang.

well... back to studying i guess. back to facing the agony of cramming for exams.