for me to live is Christ

i'm reading The Heavenly Man which Gloria lent me at lifegroup today. yay! finally some reading material (i've exhausted my reading supplies and of late, have resorted to rereading david copperfield again).

so, about THM:
it's quite a well-known book, so i was kinda interested to read it. that and it's written in a storytelling style. so easy read. but boy, did this book really make me think and reflect.

so, basically, it's based on the true story of how this man, Brother Yun was used by God to preach the gospel amidst prosecution from atheist lead communist china. a more expanded synopsis of the book here. there are just so many things from his narrative that inspired and encouraged me, 3 things really stood out (so far that is).

1. that no matter how or what you suffer... God KNOWS. He knows everything and He will come at the right time to save and sooth. that part of the book just moved me to near tears and i could say a million words about it, but you can listen to what Yun has to say about it here.

2. if someone were to threaten to do horrible despicable things to me if i were to not deny Christ, could i do it? i know by my own strength, i cannot. but i know, if or when the time comes, i will not be doing this alone. My strength is from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth. persecution seems so foreign and far away from us living our cushy lives, but it is very real.

3. God can survive without me. His plans will still be carried out without me. so why do i think i'm that important? truly, He must increase and i must decrease.


so, yeah... it's a very gripping book. and i believe we all need a jolt once in awhile out of our happy complacent lives. what if the end times come this very second? are we ready for it? now let me get back to finishing the book.

"for me to live is Christ, and to die is gain"

i intend to say it and wholeheartedly mean it.

because i love this

haha

it's been raining these past few days

the more time i spend at home, the more i eat. ahhh... not good not good at all.



muffins i randomly decided to bake one tuesday night just because i had the urge to eat them. the next day, panicked like mad because i realised i did not study enough for my test on thursday when i was wasting precious time doing other nonprofitable unacademic stuff. like baking.
well, they were the saltiest muffins i've ever tasted so i guess i was punished for that.

oh wells.


so, not much news from over here... have been starting on a new assignment and yeah, since i've already prepared some for it over the holidays, the going's not too tough. i mean, i've got to push myself like a hundred tonne (whatever animal/object that weighs 100 tonnes) to focus on it and not procrastinate. normal lah.

other than that, i've finished gilmore girls season 2 (yes i plan to rewatch the whole series sometime soon), and am starting on the big bang theory; which is somewhat hilarious. besides, i think i need a break from GG too.

exams are in 3 weeks time (boy does time fly!) and i'm compiling a list of things to do after it. anticipation is part of the satisfaction, i always say.

vintage shopping

i want this dress!

i know i said i won't go shopping for awhile, but heck, vintage shopping is different! it is! for one, the things are much cheaper than conventional store bought ones (bargain hunting people!), and secondly, what are the chances of coming away with something i like? given my size and preferences.

bake
ski

play as much sports as i can
clean room :(
reread pride and prejudice
bum around and watch heaps of movies

complain about being bored (kidding!)

daytona at timezone. haiz i've been saying that since the previous hols.
play more piano

learn up new recipes.
cook something wacky

and

hopefully

make a difference in someone's life.
not that i need the hols to do it. but it is something to look forward to :)

well, let's just see how many items i get to tick off my list this time. if not now, then there's always next time to do it. aye? besides, i'm hoping unexpected unplanned-for fun things will crop up which are always somehow more memorable and fun than the planned.



ooh, and before i forget, i loved kaikoura.
breathtaking scenery, pleasant though somewhat dizzy drive for me, and crazy chums, constitutes a wonderful day and a great roadtrip.



oh lookie! the pebble i found while traversing the beach in kaikoura. i can't even draw a heart shaped as properly as this. but then again, my "loves" have always been rather lopsided.

not your friend

i was just gonna say that i bloody hate LDRs... but then...

i suppose there are pros and cons to being in one.

for example...
pros: we get to hang out with different people and be individuals instead of a package.
a way to know if this is what you really want.

cons: basically the whole idea of a LDR is a con i would say.
being apart, not able to have many things in common anymore...


i could go on for ever and ever but i'll spare you since i don't want to bore myself silly writing them down as well. see i'm so nice :)



in an LDR, time and space are not your friends. well, at least not when you're 4/5 hours ahead/behind and over 10 hours flying time (minus transit time) apart.

but i'm resilient.

i can do what God says i can do.

sighhhhh

sometimes... you just get

very very tired of trying.




but perhaps i'm just exhausted. and need some sleep.




having a test tomorrow which i'm feeling like i should've studied more for. hmm not a good sign when you're panicking yourself to tears the night before. but hopefully, i'll ace it like i did the previous one.
fingers crossed.


when you don't need something it's always there. but when you need it badly, it always disappears. WHY?
same with people. they're always not where you need them when you need them.

cliche statement: life's like that.
but it's so true.




and last rant.

orang yang tinggal serumah dengan saya amat pelik. dia marah kerana saya buang air yang dia masak dan tinggal untuk disejukkan. macam mana saya tahu dia nak air itu? bukan seperti saya boleh baca fikirannya. jikalau saya begitu hebat, tentu saya nak tahu mengapa dia selalu berada dalam rumah sahaja.




lol. ok, that made me slightly happier.


man, this test is really getting me down... :(

playing to different kinds of sport in two days makes me feel athletic.
almost. haha.


but i'm liking it... getting back to when i at least get myself away from the comp and sweat a little. and i can at least hit the tennis ball over the net and in the court. which is something i forgot i knew how to do :D guess i'm not THAT bad afterall.


i love the high i get after a good game of whatever. beats chocolate hands down.

and for me to say that is like... you know it's gotta be good cos i can endorse choc.

those tiny little things

listening to kate voegele now.



i'm liking how the previous few days have turned out. nothing too epic happening so it's just been pleasant with not much going on. i like how it's cooler here compared to in malaysia. hence, lack of heat = more things get done. i love being productive... it makes me feel as if i haven't wasted my time or the day. which is why i don't really like waking up at the crack of noon. feels like i've wasted my whole beautiful morning. hmm... that probably didn't sound like me a few months back, but i've learnt to love waking up early. plus, i have such a great view from my window (ok it's just a carpark view but at least i get to see the sun and moon), waking up at dawn definitely rewards me. i think i've seen more sunrises here than i have the whole of last year. and come to think of it, the year before last as well. it's just breathtaking really... love how the purple swirls into the rising rays of orange and later moves into the lightest of sky blue. i feel so loved looking at it. seems like it's just done for me at times like this. i know, very silly musing of mine.

and the moonlight that streams into my room through my curtained window... just magical.


anyway, i've just come back from an invigorating walk from the grocery store to get... what else? it was a little drizzly but not too cold so i didn't mind the walk a tad. besides, it's nice to walk in the morning while being productive :) this has just put me in a good mood! besides, i had good company.


i finally went to the christchurch casino on friday night. nothing too great... probably cos i didn't gamble at all (can't believe i'm that good huh?). but i reckon it was a mercy i didn't cos everyone was having a terrible night, not winning much and losing quite a bit.


you win some you lose some.

doesn't only apply to monetary issues.
i suppose i had to lose some to gain something else. life is unexpected...


i don't mind actually. haha. bring it on!

food food glorious food!

pictures of all the mouth watering, diabetes inducing, makes you not able to fit into your jeans, desserts courtesy of my fav guilty pleasure blog. haha. are you salivating yet?


you probably can deduce now that i'm probably hungry and maybe having more than a little craving for something dessertish. i always want to bake stuff but the oven here in hinau is utterly USELESS!! oh i forgot, it's not even an oven. plus i don't have an electric mixer. we do however, have a (i forgot what it's called).... manual mixer? lol... and no i do not like to torture myself mixing and mixing and mixing batter.


which reminds me, i still haven't finished the no-bake cookies i "baked" a few weeks bad. i wonder if they've turned bad sitting in the fridge. this is the first time i've actually made something which i didn't like and can't bring myself to finish. other people seem to like it (or just don't want to hurt my feelings. appreciated i'm sure).


sugar is the drug that you can legitimately take.
HAHA!








i think i want excessively sugared donuts!






whee~ icf dinners... i just go for the fab desserts. shhh...

i cut my own hair today

yes i actually did.

*shock horror!*

well, what to do? i don't want to pay just for cutting my fringe and i'm lazy to find a hair saloon... so... desperate time calls for desperate measures. but you probably wouldn't notice the difference if you were to see me. more like i just trimmed my hair. now that doesn't sound so scary anymore does it?



on another note, a bit disappointed in some people. but whatever, i'm sure they must have their reasons so i'm going to give them the benefit of doubt. i'm nice see.

but life's good. must just keep reminding myself to count the blessings instead of pinpointing the nasties.

goodbye. have a nice tuesday. or what's left of it anyway :)

fried rice for dinner

you know how some blogs have posts which are consistently labeled, or have this currently listening to: [insert random song here... usually obscure or/and indie music] thingie at every post?
well... this is not one. i did attempt to label all my posts once. i even dedicated a good hour or so of my time to slowly tag them into categories. but that all ended when i wrote my next post and was too lazy to be bothered with it. haha. so there you have it, and arbitrary inconsistent blog in someone who takes pride in giving you the random and abstract. i'm not going to say i'm inconsistent.


it's the second week of term 2. and so far, nothing to complain about. i like how mondays are quite relaxing for me. gives me time to leisurely do my work. and wouldn't you believe it, i've been here for 3 months already! how time flies... another 6 more to go before i can step back to the warm as an oven, maybe warmer weather of the island. but for now, i like it here and like i said, no complaints... someone once said this to me

"sad to leave, and sad to come back"

meaning, you fit in both home and the place that you are now that you're sad to leave both places. i guess i'll have to find out at the end of the year. haha.


other than that, i'm doing good. lazy to give explanation (that's what my lecturer keeps writing in my essays... "elaborate more!!!") so you'll have to content yourself with that. i would really love to write more but as i don't think i had enough of sleep last night (it takes a specific amount of slumber to keep me going) and have been up doing stuff since 9, i'm exhausted.


it's annoying how i have so many pairs of shoes and yet can only wear a few to uni cos they're not really suitable for walking far and fast. i almost got cramps walking in my boots. the people here don't walk; they stride... which makes you feel slow especially when you're blocking their path and you can feel their annoyance just oozing out when they're trying to overtake you. so this makes you walk fast to match their pace. which makes my shoes hurt. annoying.

i should probably get a bike. not.


some people, you think you'll get close to them and probably are for a little while... and then *woosh* they disappear from your life.
while some, you don't expect them to stick around, but they do and end up being a good friend.

then i probably shouldn't expect :)



am pleasure reading the return of sherlock holmes at the moment. it's the lightest of my reads at the moment, and i'm still hoping i can get my hands on some chick lits. but it's not as if i read that much nowadays. i really should i guess. but after a ton of close reading for assignments, the last thing you want to do is read another book. even if it's just for fun.


today at lifegroup we had to list down the qualities we desired in a husband. upon comparing, i don't think i've changed much in terms of what i wanted my dream husband to be like. hehe. to be honest, i think malaysian guys aren't doing too badly in the desire-o-meter... i have observed, and some of my friends have also remarked that msian guys relatively treat their gfs/wives better than most men. they're more dependable, gentlemanly, and most importantly... they actually respect women. of course, that's from our observations only... but i'm sure there're big time jerks out there as well. haha. so msian guys, be proud and don't let me down!



i really need to sleep