no complaints

i have a new hobby. its name is complain.

for those who know me well, you'll probably go "oh THAT's new? but she always complains." but this time, the complain level has escalated to about 10 times more. i complain when i'm free. i complain when i'm busy. i complain that i'm hungry. i complain that i'm tired. i complain that it's raining. i complain when my touch and go expired.

see what i mean?

it's awful! i already feel like crap and the complaining makes me even worse. i mean, who's gonna suffer in the end? ME. yes, it's hard being cheery when you're kicked out of your comfort zone and forced to fend for yourself, but i all that complaining really affected my emotions and my relationship with jt and God. cos i'm always complaining to him only. see i've been relatively (not totally okay...) pampered back home so this is like... being in the north pole with just a singlet and shorts. okla i'm exaggerating a bit. hehe.

so...

after a very enlightening conversation with jt, i realised how awful i was being... and i'm trying (keyword being 'trying' here), to become a more positive person. how many times have i said that? too often. but twin towers weren't built in a day la so understand... anyway, step one is to stop complaining. and thank goodness today was a good day. or maybe i had better perspective? whichever it was... i'm happy. and that's all that matters for today. as for step two, i haven't quite figured it out yet. will make it up as i go along.

so like i said, today was a good day.

i bought a new t&g card, didn't have that much work in the office, i'm fitting in more with my colleagues too, and it didn't rain. the train was early too, i ad my mp3 to accompany me back and i even treated myself to a magazine. the only thing is that i have to pass te creepy house with n windows every single day when i walk home. there're no windows. just a big hole where every day without fail, at whatever time, there'll be a few guys of unknown nationality at the window looking out. scary wei. so i'll usually walk extra faster whenever i pass them. which is not very fast cos i'm usually ired when i reach that house.

girl / guy

you know those chain emails that you get...



(example)

Here are a few reasons why guys like girls:



1. They will always smell good even if its just shampoo

2. The way their heads always find the right spot on our shoulder

3. How cute they look when they sleep

4. The ease in which they fit into our arms

5. The way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything is right in the world

6. How cute they are when they eat

7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in the end it makes it all worth while

8. Because they are always warm even when its minus 30 outside

9. The way they look good no matter what they wear

10. The way they fish for compliments even though you both know that you think she's the most beautiful thing on this earth







so i've decided to come up with my own. why girls like guys. i know it's been done before by other people. but this is my version based on my own experiences. so if it sounds the same then too bad le... i guess we like the same things.

why girls like guys

(denise's version: why i like my guy)

1. the way they always want to protect you no matter what (even if it's just a small thing like crossing the road).


2. the way the persuade you with puppy dog eyes until you cannot help it but say yes.


3. strong and broad shoulders *wink wink*. good to cry on, awesome to lean on.


4. the way they look when they're asleep. sooo cute and vulnerable at the same time.


5. when they get all dressed up for you (but deny it) hahaha


6. how they get panicked and frustrated when you cry and they can't solve your problems.


7. they always try to solve problems eventhough all you wanted in the first place was to complain and rant about it.


8. when they do random gentlemanly acts like open doors for you, and fetch or walk you home when it's late and scary.


9. how they're always trying to do silly stuff to make you laugh or cheer you up.


10. how safe you feel when you're with them.


11. the way they say 'i love you', and mean it.

status:

• almost end of 2nd week.
• ravenously hungry- i long with saliva dripping for penang food...
• looking forward to HOME
• missing everyone
• trying to be independent. forced.
• happy?

i try.

this and that

referring to ben tan's last post about the forwarded mail of the guy who buried his daughters alive in egypt, i have a short testimony to tell which is in the same vein also. this was told by the Jordanian pastor who came to the church i went to last sunday.

well, as you know, Jordan is a predominantly Muslim nation. so, one day after service in his church (in Jordan), one middle aged woman stopped him and wanted to talk to him. this was her story. her son, was sent to prison because they suspected him of being a terrorist. so, he was sent to jail to serve a pretty long prison sentence. and the best part was... he was innocent! he was just a brillant scientist who loved to play around with chemicals.

but what she said later aazed the pastor more when she told him that about a year after her son was sent to prison, she was visited, or rather, she saw a man, telling her twice that her son would be set free the next week. and when she told the pastor, he assumed it was in a vision or a dream. but she said no. it was as if he was standing right in front of her talking to her. and somehow, she knew it was Jesus. and the most striking thing about Him was the eyes, the deepest, most piercing eyes she had ever seen.

and true enough, her son was released the very next week.
God works in mysterious ways. i mean, i've been a christian for some time and i haven't seen Christ yet. but a woman from another faith could see Him, not once but twice... is amazing.


today was kinda a bad day. i reached the office late thanks to a huge delay on the lrt, it rained heavily when i was on the way home, so i had to take shelter at the lrt station while waiting for the rain to subside. after that i had to cook my own food and do my laundry as well.

ok, i don't know why God makes bad things happen sometimes, but today, He used this opportunity to show me 2 angels. one, the canteen lady who sells rice. so as usual, i'll bring my plate of rice to her to pay. but all she did was smile and say "today i belanja you. happy chinese new year". and all i could do was smile really wide and say thanks. and the second, while i was waiting at the bus stand for taxi, cos rain was too heavy for me to walk back, and i was at the very end of the very long line of people waiting for taxis. and suddenly, this cab pulls up and the driver asked me where i was going, and told me to get in the cab if i didn't mind sharing with another lady. which of course i didn't. turns out, we were going the same route! and the cabbie was a really nice uncle type. so i feel blessed that i didn't have to wait in the rain until who knows what time.

i guess every cloud has a silver lining afterall.

day 8

dang... even the maids here speak cantonese. gone la gone la...


had western food yesterday. i chose lemon butter grilled fish cos i, the one who makes eating fish one of her biggest burdens, actually missed it. actually, i was worried about what vital nutriens i would be missing from an all chicken diet i've been having everyday. yea call me a health freak now. it must be a product of my upbringing... yea i blame/credit my mom for that. haha. oh, but penang's food is waaaaayyy better. of course, if we were to be known for one thing only, better to be superbly and unashamedly good at it right? whenever i say i'm from penang, the first thing i'll hear is "so you must like food a lot". stereotyping people. but, i have to say, leaving penang has made me realise what a loyalist i am. penangite to the core. at least i'd like to think so le. doesn't matter if i don't know most roads here, it's the heart that counts marrr...

i'm so lazy to post up pics here. so you won't get any now. besides, i don't have my camera with me here. all i have is the pathetic 2.0 camera from my phone which i tried to take the perfect setting sun with but it turned out all orange and blurry you couldn't tell the sn from the clouds. unfortunately. anyway, i don't think you want to see where i work right?

i'll be coming back soon so love it or hate it... you don't have a choice.


so, i've become a bored and pushy commuter. just like everyone. for those who have experienced it (i think most have), you know how it feels to be pushed and shoved (or be the pushy and shovy one yourself... see, it's people like you la, that make the rest of us suffer) while entering or exiting the train. and smelling people's varied body odours... but, if it gets you places, then mustn't complain so much. so... as i was saying... i'm becoming one of those pushy, move-out-of-my-way-i'm-in-a-hurry, commuters. cham. but to my defense, have you ever reached the platform to have the train rushing past you and the passengers looking sympathetically at you? i have. twice. anyway, it's usually crowded so i usually stand. but occasionally, i pray for a seat, and without fail, God provides me with an empty seat. i never meet any of the same people in the stations except for this tall, bald, white guy. who always always takes the same train at the same time as i do. or maybe i remember him cos he stands out. but there you go... i'm starting to ramble nonsense.

i haven't posted long nonsensy posts like this in awhile. now's a good place to start.

from kl. again.

surprisingly, kl is cooling. i get really cold at night, and that's just with the fan turned on. i mean, you would think that kl being a concrete jungle (excuse the cliche-ness) would be immensely humid, but it isn't. penang is waaaaay hotter than here. that's the one (and so far, only) good part of being here. back home, i'd be suffering under my tiny table fan.


hmm... so i guess most of you know the mini drama of why i had a sudden accomodation change here. for those who haven't heard it yet, (lol like as if people wanna know huh?) it's like this. i arrived in the house i was supposed to share with a few friends... but when i went in... oh man, my house looked better when it was under renovation! the whole ground floor is inaccesible cos renovations were going on (workers coming in and out everyday *shudder!*), so all 6 of us had to cram upstairs. with only one toilet. squating! SQUATING!!! that just got me down. so, didn't stay. end of story.


my supervisor said i've got a creative mind *bangga*
but after that she gave me a pile of work (for my creative brain). sigh...


anyway, how is everyone?

suffering in kl

i don't know how to order food in cantonese. so i'm relegated to just pointing.

"ah... i want this *point*, and *point* this also.... "



helped organise my first press conference today. and if you listen to traxx fm, you might hear yours truly's voice *ahem* cos they wanted me to voice one promo. altogether a very tiring day... but better than yesterday.


i will love my car more when i go home. i get rosy cheeks from all that walking now. yeah it's that bad.

hi

hello people...

i'm alive! missed me yet? such a corny line but then still must say. cos cos i miss penang so much. i just feel so far away when i think of people and things i have left. but then, it's only kl. and it's only 2+ months. i console myself with that. and CNY is coming, which means i get to go home. yippee!

so far, i've settled my place to stay... more on that when i'm not so sleepy. and today's my first day of work. yup, at traxx fm in RTM. gosh the place is like some mini campus, gotta walk a bit to get to my building. kl has been all crowds and walk to me so far. wanna go everywhere... walk walk walk... and crowds crowds crowds. it takes me about an hour to get from my house to angkasapuri (which is where rtm is). walk about 20 mins to the lrt station. yeaaaaa... now i know how priviledged i was back home. got car somemore.

oh yea, first day of work... it was ok. the people are all very friendly and quite helpful. but first day so it's a bit awkward... i never seem to fit in fast. take a long time settling in. hopefully not that long, otherwise i'll be back in penang before i can feel at home there. i was umm, really bored today... ntg much to do you see. but i did make friends with the djs as well. they're part of staff you see.


anyway tired... it's been a long and tiring day... goodnight everyone.
internet cnnection sucks here. i can only see certain people's blogs.

eh?

botanical gardens has a japanese garden (sortof). it's tucked away and not many people visit it, and one of my favourite places there. stones, streams and leafyness. it's so quiet and sheltered and shady that i sometimes feel that it's just like my own private place in the world. but after awhile, it starts to get creepy. haha.

back when i had the weird fringe.

so, what am i doing everyday these days? haha erm... the days have been so filled and so fast since i finished my exams that i have no idea. it's just been a wonderful big blur of events. blur but so fun. mostly spending time with jt the pig. i did have my sleepover with the girls, like finally! but the morning after was partly spoilt no thanks to the life changing phonecall to tell me that i was accepted into RTM. i nearly cried at that time. yes, denise cries sometimes. and yes, even over silly things like going to kl. i was so mentally unprepared mer at that time to receive a bomb like that. anyway, i loved every giddy, crazy, live for the moment, time of it.




now... time to get sobered up. it's back to business and early mornings again... cos i'm going to work for the first time! *cue clapping and cheering music* i hope i get nice colleugues. and a fair boss. and don't kill my feet in heels. and don't get my money/phone/etc stolen.



anyway, i'll just trust God to provide and to take care of me. other than that, no use worrying.

i wanna go balitong. siape mau?

fyi, it's a kind of shell-ish seafood which is oh-so-good to eat... all you need is an ability to suck (what are you guys thinking?) to enjoy. lol really la. otherwise it won't come out. ok i'm going to stop talking this instant before i make things worse.

time for new beginnings

2008 was a lot of firsts for me. i don't need to elaborate.

now 2009 is going to be another year of firsts as well. i think. well, for starters, i'll be going to work for the very first time. yes, if you must know, i've never been employed. ever. i never had the need to, nor did i want to. yeah, now i sound like a spoilt brat. i'm not i'm not i'm not...

anyway, it's kinda scary that 2009 is also going to be the first time i'm staying away from home. taking care of my stuff, my dirty laundry, my meals, managing my own finances, dealing with people by myself. and staying in another city. thank God that i have very supportive parents, boyfriend and friends who help me to no end. and oh yeah, i've finally found a house (ask me if you want to know more *wink wink*), with friends who'll be living with me and one or two who'll be going to work at the same place as i do, so i'm not totally alone. praise God!

ah let's see what else... hmm i can't wait to see what 2009 holds for me. i don't know what to expect at all, which is exhilarating but scary at the same time. i'll be finishing my diploma this year, go for my first graduation ever... look for another job after that? don't know. but we'll see.

but the main things remains the same. God, my family, my darling boy(man), my girlfriends and my friends. i'm still learning and growing, but that doesn't stop me from loving.