snippet

one of my best loved movies.

life is beautiful

and it is.

not a sad post ;)

it's been 6+ months now.

*

.ups. downs. laughter. tears. sweetness. quarrels.

.joy. hurt. firsts.

.compromise. handmade gifts. apologies. pictures.

.outings. food.

.new friends. different mindsets. support. comfort.

.phonecalls. movies

.cho siao. manja. reflection. sharing. serving. lessons.

.love. i love you.

*

(thanks joseph! love the pic)

today

just got back from col. we had this erm... golden achievement award ceremony, which is supposed to be like the academy awards but at a much much smaller scale. you know... best student in journalism, best documentary, etc... actually it was pretty inspiring. makes me want to you know... create something worthy to be shown as an example to others.

anyway, my english pronunciation class were asked to perform a short sketch (thankyou miss priscilla for lending your voice!) as one of the performance. it went well, praise God! right timing, right response from audience... everything good *big sigh of relief*. the cast and crew (sayang semua) put in a lot of effort and it's all good.

no pictures cos i forgot to bring my cam.

somehow, things have a way of sneaking up on you especially when you don't want them to. my eye was itching terribly last night and this morning, i couldn't even open my left eye. bengkak! hahaha. again, no pictures cos i have a 'don't scare my readers' policy here. was contemplating not going for the event today... but then... i'm the director, and it'll be so irresponsible of me not to turn up just because of an eye. right? so no choice la... try to cover my eye with my hair (sigh why did i cut my fringe that short? i want my old hair back!) and ask my mom to drop me at col.

didn't get too many stares and "OMG! what happened to your eye??", thank goodness.

but hahahahaha... got an excuse to go back earlier. so you see, good things do come out of bad ones.

"why won't you love me Jenny?"

(Forest Gump, in Forest Gump)

the saddest phrase in the movie that always has me in tears no matter how many times i watch it.

will things be the same again?

i don't know. i wish it would be.

don't want to cry myself to sleep no more.

NZ

i guess i should finally put some pics up.

my (20 + 5) sen worth.

1. it was cold.

as in, snow cold. for a person who's never seen snow before (snoworld in genting does not count!)

which means the whole story. warm coat, scarf, gloves... just to make sure you're nice and toasty.

2. it's all about the sheep.

everywhere you see the baa baa's. and now that it's lambing season (sheep seh kia), even more exciting to see lil' baa's running around.

got called up to err... do dunno what.

reward for my efforts. anyone wants to have a touch and feel session (with this thing, mind you), feel free to let me know.

3. the breathtaking scenery for which new zealand is famed for.

4. the other stuff which i can't categorise...

we were also university window shopping there. so who knows? my future uni perhaps. it's a beautiful place. i don't mind studying here. heheh.

oh gosh the difference! the people here are like... BIG... and TALL... i feel so small.

oh oh oh! and i got a helicopter ride! actually... i was dizzy halfway. haha. what a waste.

and my pilot. he didn't know i was taking his pic. yeayeayea i'ma stalker.

random photo. this is either the mouth of a volcano or a meteorite hole in auckland. i can't remember which.

and thus concludes my NZ chapter. unless of course, i find more things to add or i do back there.

finally! an update

i haven't blogged for 2 weeks. ok that's kinda long. heheh. no i haven't abandoned this blog, it's just that i don't seem to have anything blog-worthy. or maybe i do but i just don't want to. or it could be laziness.

adjusting:

to the heat

to going back to col

to reality

oh before i go on, have a HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY kwan-lyn!!! God bless you from the crown of your head to the tips of your toes. it's pretty late at your place but i think this'll still reach you before 12.

so how was nz?

it was good. and cold. hehe.

but nice.

yeah okay, i go to the land where lotr was filmed and that's the best i can say?

will blog about it later when i get the pics from my sis.

class started today. only 5 subjects this sem but oh my... what heavy subjects.
-advanced tv prod (i'll admit. i'm scared)
-advanced writing (i forsee lots of challenging brainwork. i might sound lazy but i'm actually veryhardworking *pause* yeah i guess you guys don't believe me)
-film aesthetic and criticism (oh this is fun. get to watch movies every week, what's not to like?) speaking of which, we watched casablanca today. i used to dislike watching black and white films cos i got irritated by how the actor's acting, and it just being monochrome that i never usually attempt watching them. but this is actually not bad. a lil slow paced and unrealistic, but witty at some points and generally watchable.
-and 2 more subjects with long names.


on a more serious front:
am still struggling with being confessing positive things. i told God, i told myself that i wanted to change and stop being so negative. and i did try. but it worked for like, the first few minutes. then afterthat the same old... "i can't, it's not going to work, no...". the harder i try, the harder it gets. and sometimes i get so so tired of trying. but no one said it would be easy peasy. i admit i have self confidence issues sometimes. i say "i can't do it" before i even try. and i'm afraid that i'll fail and embarrass myself. if you don't notice it, that's because i have soneone to help me; Jesus. but one step at a time. i can't do it alone also.

i was in nz watchin tv in the hotel room early one morning, cos they have people preaching on tv in the mornings. oh i saw the hillsong one too. and there's this lady, joyce meyer, i liked what she said. according to her, she was once like me, negative, so she asked God, why is it that she can't seem to grow and why her life is not blessed, then God told her she was being so negative and to change. but when she stopped confessing negative things, a few months passed, she still didn't really see a breakthrough in her life. then she asked again " God, i have already done what you asked me to. why is my life still not changed?". then God answered "you have only stopped confessing the bad things. but you haven't been confessing positive and good things either!"

i also like what we confess in bible study before the sermon. it's very powerful and uplifting. i say it to myself especially in the mornings when i'm feeling sleepy and sorry for myself. actually i still have loads to say about this subject. but not today. in case i bore everyone they never come back. hehe.

oh gosh this has been such a long post. i should go.

i am loved. i know i am loved.

i love back too.

hello!

kayaking is fun! we should definately do it more often. but i'm lazy haha. i'll paddle a bit then relax. let the person at the back paddle la. i'll just... take in the views.


was forced to accompany my parents out to do errands this morning. ok more like, requested me to join them with no option for me to back out. so i was taking my own sweet time getting out of bed in hopes that i'll be too late to go with them. yes, now you know the bad side of denise ong. but no hope of that. still had to drag my yawning, bird's nest hair, eyebagged self to the bathroom to get ready.

followed them to the bank, the watch shop and the travel agent's place. met some of my dad's old colleaugues... one sweet old malay man who still remembers me as chubby and 2 feet tall i guess. haha. he was like "wah... sudah besar...dulu, kecil saje (indicating my height of yesteryears)". lol. not that big. but still...

it wasn't too bad, i don't get to go on errands with my parents often. and it's nice to see where they used to work. besides, i like coming to town in the mornings when it's not too hot and of course, when i'm not driving. otherwise, it's just too stressful. i like the old buildings, beautiful architecture. there is just so much potential for imagination to run wild there. must do a historical trail walk one day. any takers?

my study's a huge mess (nightmare for my mom. oops.). so is my brain. very disorganised. i don't know what kind of impression i give to people, but i can be organised when i want to. which is when i'm being nagged by people of authority (parents, lecturers etc) or after i've gone through a big scare (not finishing assignments on time, getting horrible marks). but definately not during the hols. hello... the last time i heard, hols are for resting. hols are for your brain cells to rot. hols are for you to indulge in your inner piggishness.

anyway, as i was saying... umm... what was i saying??? oh yes! disorganised me. i keep taking out things to do and then abandon my projects halfway. i just can't find anything to do that i'm really that passionate about. that's why i have no hobby. i guess.



now i'm gonna indulge. see you.

can't find a title for it

you are NOT the center of the universe.

The world does NOT revolve around you.

remember that, denise.

unrelated:

i was having brunch with my parents today. and then we heard crying, like a child making a big fuss when he/she doesn't get what he/she wants. i was looking around to find the bratty kid but weirdly, i didn't see any. It was only after the second glance that i realised the source was an tiny old woman. she was crying and crying and crying. and the equally old man beside her, was trying to coax her to get a move on and cross the road. i don't know what happened but i think she's mentally challenged.



anyway, the man with her was really trying his best to calm her down. alternating his hugs with encouraging words, and when he got a bit impatient, scolding her a bit. i think she cried and yelled for 10 minutes before calming down and managed to cross the road. her companion then gave her a hug and patted her. they continued on their journey.



we, the passerbys can only look and sympathise with them. but this man, he has to put up with her everyday. he's so old, and he needs the help of a cane to walk, and yet, he has a big responsibility. it's a thankless job, but still, someone has to do it.

me-ness

my face looks so.... ROUND. lol. i didn't know it was that round. i always thought it was sorta oval-ly..., but this... this is round. as in, round you can roll it on the ground and it would roll with ease.

but i still think i look better than how i think i look. hey, 'as you confess, be it unto you' (my version). so i'm gonna stop thinking negatively and confess more good things

*smiles sweetly*

.

.

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and this, this is my 'i'm so happy i'm going to col' look. good eh?

.

i miss my short hair a lil bit.

clumsy

my clumsiness is coming back.


okay... maybe not coming back, but it seems to have added. i had a particularly clumsy last week. here is the countdown:

4. i accidentally tipped my bowl of soup over while having dinner. with just my finger. finger k.... finger. i'm so strong muahahahaha.

3. as i was reaching for something at the table, my elbow knocked over my teacup.

2. i stepped on my gas pedal instead of the brake when i was turning a corner resulting in a very scary and awakening experience. and my fastest corner yet. heheh. actually it was in hunza. i went for prayer in the morning and was still half asleep... well i can tell you, that woke me up immediately! imagine if i had an accident inside hunza. lol. but thank God i didn't knock anything.

1. haih... today's incident, yes. we had holy communion in church today (first week of the month). and so as keyboardist, i had to bring the otther musician's cup and bread for them. i dunno why, but my head and my fingers were so uncoordinated that i knocked down a cup while taking another cup. yes, and spilled it. how embarrasing! don't know if anyone saw it, hopefully not.haha. but good thing it was in the tray.


ah yeah... my mishaps.