finally! an update

i haven't blogged for 2 weeks. ok that's kinda long. heheh. no i haven't abandoned this blog, it's just that i don't seem to have anything blog-worthy. or maybe i do but i just don't want to. or it could be laziness.

adjusting:

to the heat

to going back to col

to reality

oh before i go on, have a HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY kwan-lyn!!! God bless you from the crown of your head to the tips of your toes. it's pretty late at your place but i think this'll still reach you before 12.

so how was nz?

it was good. and cold. hehe.

but nice.

yeah okay, i go to the land where lotr was filmed and that's the best i can say?

will blog about it later when i get the pics from my sis.

class started today. only 5 subjects this sem but oh my... what heavy subjects.
-advanced tv prod (i'll admit. i'm scared)
-advanced writing (i forsee lots of challenging brainwork. i might sound lazy but i'm actually veryhardworking *pause* yeah i guess you guys don't believe me)
-film aesthetic and criticism (oh this is fun. get to watch movies every week, what's not to like?) speaking of which, we watched casablanca today. i used to dislike watching black and white films cos i got irritated by how the actor's acting, and it just being monochrome that i never usually attempt watching them. but this is actually not bad. a lil slow paced and unrealistic, but witty at some points and generally watchable.
-and 2 more subjects with long names.


on a more serious front:
am still struggling with being confessing positive things. i told God, i told myself that i wanted to change and stop being so negative. and i did try. but it worked for like, the first few minutes. then afterthat the same old... "i can't, it's not going to work, no...". the harder i try, the harder it gets. and sometimes i get so so tired of trying. but no one said it would be easy peasy. i admit i have self confidence issues sometimes. i say "i can't do it" before i even try. and i'm afraid that i'll fail and embarrass myself. if you don't notice it, that's because i have soneone to help me; Jesus. but one step at a time. i can't do it alone also.

i was in nz watchin tv in the hotel room early one morning, cos they have people preaching on tv in the mornings. oh i saw the hillsong one too. and there's this lady, joyce meyer, i liked what she said. according to her, she was once like me, negative, so she asked God, why is it that she can't seem to grow and why her life is not blessed, then God told her she was being so negative and to change. but when she stopped confessing negative things, a few months passed, she still didn't really see a breakthrough in her life. then she asked again " God, i have already done what you asked me to. why is my life still not changed?". then God answered "you have only stopped confessing the bad things. but you haven't been confessing positive and good things either!"

i also like what we confess in bible study before the sermon. it's very powerful and uplifting. i say it to myself especially in the mornings when i'm feeling sleepy and sorry for myself. actually i still have loads to say about this subject. but not today. in case i bore everyone they never come back. hehe.

oh gosh this has been such a long post. i should go.

i am loved. i know i am loved.

i love back too.