Monday, February 04, 2008

get physical

i just realised that i'm quite a cold person.

A) i hardly show any of my feelings to people

and

B) i'm afraid of physical contact.

this is bad you know? unless i'm feeling unnaturally sweet and loving, i usually have loads of difficulties showing affection to people. i mean, i do love my friends and my family (i really do), but sometimes, it's just so hard to show them. to some people, it comes easily.. but it's hard for me. i only spontaneously show affection to animals. man, this is starting to sound so bad.

but... i am trying. and learning. maybe i'm afraid of showing my soft side... maybe i'm just afriad of things i can't control... i dunno. but i am trying.

Sunday, February 03, 2008

and she does it again...

strange things always happen to me. weird strange things.

like today for instance, i was having lunch with my family at new world park. where the hawker stalls are. so, it was really full and we shared a long table with another family. so i'm like, practically sharing my eating space with another guy who can practically hear whatever i'm saying (that's how close we were).

so, i was struggling with this piece of lamb chop, trying to work my kung fu on it and cut it into half when i pushed (or pulled) a bit too hard (too much energy i guess heheh), and WOOOSH... all the fries in my plate flew into the other guy's face. good thing none landed on his plate. OMGosh... talk about embarassing! one moment i'm sanely eating my lamb chop and the next thing i'm harrassing the innocent guy next to me with flying fries.

AND apologizing while trying not to burst out laughing. but he was pretty good about it. laughed with me (or at me. fine i get it. i'm a klutz i know) and i think we even kinda became friends. yeah trust me to make a situation out of everything. ah... i can't believe i'm still that clumsy. haih.

well, i guess i should be thankful that i didn't spray peas all over him or poke him with my fork. lol. well, thank goodness for small favours.

Monday, January 28, 2008

how long

can someone stay angry?

you know, it sucks to be ignored. all the more if you're ignored by the people you love.
yeah sucks.
but not only that, it gets hurtful. and yes! i AM ok. quite hurt.
i am HUMAN. thus, i make mistakes. so does everyone... but at least i admit that i'm wrong and i apologize for it.
how long are you going to hold on to your grudge?
now, doesn't that make you the petty one instead.

i'll always love you, but right now i don't like you.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

ironies and some other things



met up with ross yesterday. she was back a few weeks ago for her break but i haven't managed to see her til yesterday. how sad is that? i blame our clashing schedules. anyway, we caught up on some much needed talking. heart-to-heart. and laughed our asses off (at least i did, and you know how loudly i laugh) until people from the next table looked a bit uncomfortable. oops! i'm always embarassing myself. haih.


you know how it is that when you have lots of cash, you just can't find things that you like (to buy), and when you're having this major (lack of) cashflow crisis, everything looks so good to you and you just wish (just this once) that your daddy was bill gates. ross and i, we went for a stroll after lunch, which turned into a full blown shopping excursion. went in shops, tried on stuff, preened in front of the mirror, left. alternated with buying some of the stuff we tried. i didn't think i would be shopping so i didn't bring lotsa money. BUT thank goodness my parents were there to so i could dig into someone else's wallet for the time being. before that (when i went woth renee, staph and ann ann), had money, didn't like anything there. life is full of ironies really.


i'm starting to like michael buble. yeah yeah... only NOW. i like the way he resings old songs in a... less oldies way. very relaxing for lazy nights like this. for my wedding (garden wedding haha) i want a white piano (not off white, just a bright nice white), crimson roses, and a pianist accompanied by a double bassist who'll play all these kind of songs. nice jazzy ballady numbers. either that or a string quartet (2 violins, viola and cello). and YEAHHHH i know it's super early to be planning one now (i'm still so unattached), but it never hurts to dream :) or i hope to attend one like that soon! lol


ps. ivan, if you're up for rental i want you to be my pianist... lol.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

brisbane

i know i know i know... it's been what, 2 months already and i'm still not done showing pictures of my aussie trip. so, forgive me and enjoy.... i takes ages to upload them to slide, so i think i'll be super slow in showing up the rest. meanwhile, here's brisbae, where i hope to be in say, 2 yrs time? if if if i do get into the uni that i want.


Monday, January 21, 2008

wasabi ice cream tastes kinda yummy.
weird... but not bad at all.

next round... miso ice cream?

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

the chabohs













6 lives. so different. so seperate, yet so alike.



6 girls. so close, yet so distant.






now seriously, i don't intend to make this all so touchy cry-y. nope. this is reality and i'll tell it like it is. at least, i'll try.



so there's prissy the perfectionist. she's the artsy one. and we ALL know that she's doing some course in art (i forget what it's called though she's told me so many times before. sorry!). pris has the patience of a saint. seriously! she can listen to annoying people for hours and seem interested. which is more than can be said of me sadly. anyway, she's the one i go to most to unload and for advice.













next is miss sporty qian, lover of all things yellow. the girl is so into sports that she even has me, non-sporty couch potato, to go squashing and do other forms of exercising. hehe, i can still remember the times she made poor lionel run up and down the court during squash. also the organizer of the group. i think sometimes she gets tired of always being the (wo)man -in- charge but honey you're the best! i know she doesn't read my blog, but thank you qian for all your love, time and effort.






then there is ann ann with the dimples that i so love. she's my fashion buddy; we can talk about it for hours. haven't seen her for a year but she's back now so we'd better hangout lots and lots of times before you go back you hear me? lol.









we move on to slightly bohemian steph with the long long legs (jealous). another artsy-fartsy girl and bass chica. heheh. we kinda have conflicting opinions sometimes but one thing we do agree about; music! and she has this unique sense of humour. only steph's ;-)















then, studious, inquisitive, tv-holic sabri, always wanting to know what, why, who and how? she's really sharp, especially when it comes to mind games (which i suck at. upon reflection, i suck at most games :( . sad ) , she's a really good friend.

















finally, there's well... me. small, blur and clumsy. with the most unlady-like laugh ever. haha. you do realize it's hard for me to describe me. so we'll just leave it at that.



these 5 girls (minus me of course), well, i've basically grown up with them through the difficult teenage years. finding ourselves, stating and reinstating our values (no bgr til we left school), gossiped (i know it's bad but like you don't?), given each other support, made us laugh til we had abs, built one another up and shared our secrets.



and of course there were bad times too (little angels fight sometimes *angelic smile*). i guess we had our rounds of petty jealousies, bickering and disagreeing. can't really remember much of that but there was an incident. our all-girl guitar class (taught by josh) had to perform once. and when the pressure started building, so did the tension. and some anger.

or maybe it was just me.


but basically, we were in everything together. got praised together (or seperately) and got scolded together also. someone once said that we were all so different and yet we complemented each other.


i see that this has been an incredibly long and exausting post (not so to those who read i hope. it's ok to be honest though). so i think i shall stop.


so anyway, cheers ladies! to the good times, the bad and the times to come.



Monday, January 14, 2008

beginning of sem (again)

col has started. actually have been for a week... i just choose to not think about it overly much. on one hand... it's fun, i'm not idle at home everyday (i have a very non-happening life just so you know); but on the other... late to bed, and early to rise is really not my idea of fun. especially if the only reward for dragging yourself out of bed at 7am (yes it's early for me) is to sit in a lecture hall (or classroom for tutorials) and listen to my esteemed lecturers drone on and on and on about some topic that doesn't interest me the slightest bit. that said, i shall complain no further. supposed to complain and grumble less this year but i see no change in me. this cannot be! i must change.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

free hugs anyone?

some things just make me feel all warm and glowing inside.
one of them, hugs. lately, i keep wanting to hug people randomly. you know, you feel this sudden burst of affection and you just want to hug them and tell them that somebody loves them. maybe i should join 'free hugs'. haha. but i don't see how it's going to work here in m'sia. people here won't just allow any stranger to exchange dead skin cells with them let alone a full on embrace. "err... no thanks... why don't you go terrify the other guy next to me? (and fyi, i think you're crazy)"

cuddling and hugging puppies
random hugs from kids. just because.
hugs from friends i haven't met in ages.
reassuring hugs.
hugs from the people i love.

telling you...
it's alright. it's gonna be ok.
hello. i miss you.
i love you.
goodbye.

puppies! i miss cuddling their soft warm bodies. and their little tongues licking you, short stubby tails wagging as they beg for more. you can see the utter adoration in their eyes. i heart!

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

size 5 and a half




i went looking for pumps the other day (have been unsuccessfully looking for some time). so frustrating.


wrong size wrong colour wrong type wrong height (heel)


there was just something not right for everything.
sucks to have feet size 5 and 1/2. or maybe i'm just too choosy.