here... and there

last day of holiday. well, actually, it was the Agong's installation-labour day-wesak day combo so basically, i had a very welcomed, not really needed rest. but sadly, time flies when you're having fun. at least, i think i'm having fun.



like steph says, not in, not out.. just somewhere about. it's just one of those slow days where nothing pleasant happens, but at the same time, nothing bad happens either. just makes you kinda flat. dull days.

came across this pic in one of my e-mails. anyway, if you can't read the small print here's what it says

on guy's tee: my ambition is to satisfy my woman, buy her diamonds, big house, sport car, roses etc. my money belongs to her and her money belongs to herself.

on gal's tee: he's mine! ;-p

ok, next v'day project... to design couple tees like this and sell them to dejected bfs who have been black-listed by their gfs. heheh...

it's all about the L-word

love is such a cliche. don't you think so? i mean, just look at all the love songs ever written, sang and performed... what love problem have you encountered that hasn't been written? ok example:

1. girl dumps guy. guy still can't get over it.

~what's left of me (nick lachey)~

the whole song reeks of self pity. sickening.

2. annoying girl that tries to steal your boyfriend

~girlfriend aka the most annoying and unmorale song (by avril lavingne somemore, what happened to skater punk?)~

3. boy and girl deeply in love but has no happy ending because girl dies in the end

~tong hua (guang liang)~

real sob story that one

4. boy and girl loves each other but are faced with opposition

~don't matter (akon)~

yea it's an anoying song but it proves my point.

5. guy/girl falls out of love

~i don't love you (my chemical romance)~

6. when they fall in love with forbidden fruit

~she will be loved (maroon five)~

i'm so loved... lol. it's my song!!

7. promises of infidelity

~i'll never break your heart (backstreet boys)~

haha.. what better example than the fathers of boybands?

8. first love

~first love (utada hikaru)~

of course, who can ever forget falling in love for the first time...

9. when love goes bad

~leave me alone (the veronicas)~

and finally...

10. boy and girl, in love, but seperated by distance. haha.

~there you'll be (faith hill)/ i miss you like crazy (the moffats)

of course there're like way more love cliches than this but at the moment, this is all i can think of. feel free to drop more cliches (and their accompanying love songs) in my comments when inspiration hits.

spineless jellyfish?

football highlights:

champions league semis- chelsea vs liverpool (loves), 3am tomorrow morning.

~you'll never walk alone~

query: am i very helpless?

seems like nowadays i'm relying on people to help me do my things a lot. especially in college, i do feel quite helpless without my friends's assistance. if not for them, i think i wouldn't have survived thus far. really. so, i've really got to thank them for it.

which brings me to this; do i really give out the helpless female vibe? as in, do people (as in people in general, not just my col mates) feel the need to help me because they_____

a) pity me (i look so pathetic when i'm lost)

b) really like me and just wanna help (i'm just so likable.. haha... okok, don't puke)

c) want to get in my good graces (applies to guys only)

d) are just good people generally

i guess somehow i look for guys who can well, how do you say it... protect me? no wait, i guess it's more like guys who will look after me and cater to my every whim. yea i know, damn self-centered of me. and the funny thing is that guys (some guys anyway) do seem to take care of me. haha. maybe i do look like a lost kitten that people are going to kick if you leave them unprotected. aww crap.

*lost kitten look*

looking back, i've always been scared of strangers and well, most of my memories regarding strangers had me either hiding behind my dad or clinging to my mom. oh man... i am such a spineless brat. even my sister had more guts than me when it came to things like that. anyway, why am i even saying all that??

having said all that, i guess i really should make steps to be less of a jellyfish (btw, they do look like plastic bags floating in the sea, like sampah!) and more of a (i dunno) steel beam? well, i shall try.

twice. in one month

i was tricked.

yes, again.

and by that useless grandson of mine.

so yesterday, the usual call from aus. i, the unsuspecting victim answered. found him in tears, sobbing (although now i suspect it was supressed laughter) saying that his brother fell down, broke his arm, caught a nail and had to have it amputated. what a story. and ok fine, i admit i was kinda, no, VERY silly to believe him.

so, to cut the long story short (and save me some face la), he started sobbing on the phone (which i'm very sure this time that he was actually having a hard time breathing because he was laughing too hard, ish!) and well... you know the rest. argh! argh! ish!!! i can't believe i fell for it!
and later i had to wait 5 minutes for him to recover laughing and another 5 for him to finish calling me names and another 2 for shaun to finish laughing at me. *sigh* but yes, i suppose it is really dumb of me and kinda funny. but still....

HOW CAN JOKE ABOUT THIS KINDA THINGS ONE??!!!!

true mer...? not true also

Your Birthdate: March 12

You're a dynamic, charismatic person who's possibly headed for fame. You tend to charm strangers easily. And you usually can get what you want from them. Verbally talented, you tend to persuade people with your speaking and writing. You are affectionate and loving, but it's hard for you to commit to any one relationship. Your strength: Your charm Your weakness: Your extreme manipulation tactics Your power color: Indigo Your power symbol: Four leaf clover Your power month: December

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

calender (looking back)

life seems so mellow nowadays. so many people gone, more are going. *sigh* 2007 is really the major upheaval year. lot's of changes and new things. so i guess i'll do a lil recap on what happened this year. it's only april but it seems as if so much has already happened.

2007

jan

- i started college. major upheaval (MU) no.1 because haha, as you all know, i had to adapt to a completely different culture from that of my usual.

-pris started working. qian was already workin at nandos.

-lionel came back from doulos. pastor marcus tied the knot.

-ann ann leaves for sheep-land. MU no.2.

pic taken at nandos some time before they left.

-floods in johor

feb

-started off feb with hols sempena thaipusam. i love m'sia! where else do you get hols for sharing someone else's festival? stayed at home due to massive traffic jams in town. well, gotta pay a price for having hols too.

-spent yet another valentine's single (but not alone)

-qian's b'day! celebrated by playing badminton at bk. dumbar.

-prices for things rising every year but you can always count on one thing to remain unchanged>>> ang pow money :-( it's CNY!

cny decor never looked so chic.

march

-frenzied studying to cram up for the approaching exams.

-assignments galore. the endless slogging and disagreement with my teammates in order to complete our assignment on time. insomnia every night, crap!

-guess whose b'day happened? and on what day? SPM results, my hatchday and my IT102 presentation all bundled together on that so fateful day.

-went canoing. yay!

-started my 3 week break. double yay!

-qian got her *cough*bf*cough* guitar

-hungout a lot with qian and lionel; the very free people.

-gua tempurung trip!!

halfway through the gruelling journey. it's tough i tell you.

april (this month)

-trip to jerejak

-easter!! He has risen! celebrated bk's and shaun's farewell party at their house.

bbq! firestarter: firekid (lionel), assistant who hardly did a thing: mua (haha), chefs: ernest, steph, qian, and some other people; man of all work: shaun, photographer: mel

some of the many people who got hauled, dragged half screaming, tossed and pushed into the pool.

-col started. omgosh.. gotta wake up early once again. ish!

-last outing with the chan's at queensbay and crashed at my house later.

-bk and shaun left for aussie.

sending them off at the airport.

-gunman kills some 30 odd students in some uni in the US

-yoong's b'day party.

posers at the beach.

-finally settled my college admin stuff which made the clerk so pissed with me. heheh.

and still counting.

another party

aww crap. i'm out of ideas of blog worthy material.

attended yoong's 18th b'day party yesterday. she had a hotel stay at leisure cove and invite all of us (her ex-schoolmates) to go and celebrate with her.

implication: i got to go to the BEACH!!!!! yippee!

basically, we did the usual b'day stuff. u know... eating (i think i really went all out on the junk food, heheh), catching up on each other's lives (it was one not-so-big happy reunion), walked on the beach (like tourist only), went swimming (i didn't because i didn't bring my swimsuit... ish!), walked at ferringhi walk, ate some more and of course... like every other vain person- camwhored. ahaha. well, it would be a waste not to document this historical moment, no? after all, do you think yoong will ever turn 18 again?

strangely (or not) every one, well, almost everyone brougt sunnies.

doesn't the sea just looks so inviting? it calls out to me.

i miss them all so much! ex-arifians day out in the sun.

certain things

certain matters i can't seem to overcome today. i'm overwhelmed.

1. sometimes life just feels so burdaning. people you love are so far away. the few precious moments we get connected seems so short.

it's been 4 days since they left and it feels like eternity. i miss hearing their voices and the comforting thought that they're just a drive away from me. melbourne seems so so far away. i miss them it's starting to hurt.

2. i don't know what to think anymore. life is getting confusing.

he says he loves me. i knows he means it but why do i hesitate? we know how we feel but, there're just so many things to consider. i've always dreamed of someone like him, but do i love him? can i overlook our differences? too many questions but i can't answer anyone of them.

3. life is depressing. happy days don't seem to come.

i'm in the depths of moodiness. everything looks bleak and unpromising from my perspective now. and yes, i do admit that my post is terribly depressing today. it looks grey today.

4. i don't feel like laughing today.

my smile has apparently taken a holiday (it's probably in the south of france right now- vacationing). and all i feel like doing is curling up in my bed to shed tears and have a bout of self pity. looking back at all our happy shots, just brings back thoughts of what i've lost. what will never come back again.

5. people keep telling me what to do.

all i want is to be happy. with or without him. i know they mean well, but i'm going crazy with them telling me what i should do, what i should not do, how i should feel, how i should not feel... all i want is to be happy!!! to be free to be myself and to like who i want without people telling me what to do!!! i know that people are concerned but stop trying to influence me....

*sigh* i guess this is really going to sound so controversial. and to those who feel hurt, i really am sorry. it's just how i'm feeling about it. sometimes i feel like i'm being edged off a cliff. the more people pull me back, the more i feel like jumping off just to avoid them.

6. people who will judge me

it's true. no matter what i do, what choices i make, there will most definately be people who will be judging me; throwing rocks and stones at me. gossip travels and tongues are ever so eager to talk. i know because i'm kinda like that. but i try to limit myself. i try. and the hardest thing is that people you trust will probably judge you most.

pulau jerejak as seen from the eyes of denise

i was waiting for someone to blog about the jerejak trip. but since no one did, at least i think no one has done it yet... i guess i'll be the one then. with some limited pics.

12.10- at the jetty buying our tickets for the 12.15 departure. aren't we just the best?

our barang-barang. we had a picnic there, so everyone potlucked foodstuff. at first, we were worried we didn't have enough to eat, but it turned out that we had TOO MUCH!

the jetty. man, it's so beautiful.

you can actually see penang bridge (very faintly) in the background.

12.30- relocating our stuff. from ticketing place to jetty to boat. we're so loaded. due to the wonderful culture of malaysian time, we boarded the boat 15 minutes behind the supposed departure time. i love m'sia, don't you?

finally in the boat.

pulau jerejak. view from the masthead. at least, i think it's called that. anyone familair with nautical terms here?

6.30++ - going home. actually, nxt stop was queensbay. haha.

so, what did we do there in between? eat, lepak, ran around with a ball, wanted to eat the buffet that ended way earlier due to misinformation, talked, crapped.... yeah, that pretty much sums up what we all did. and while exploring the island, i realised that 90% of people there are like the resort's staff and co. it was so weird to see a tourist place devoid of tourists. so surreal.

and oh man! the sun, the scorching sun!

goodbyes are the hardest

i hate goodbyes.

people leave and start new lives... lives that do not include you in it. or they do, but it's so hard to keep in touch. how can you share their joy, pain, loss, sadness, and love when they're like miles and miles and miles away. how will they share mine? things will never be the same again. absence does not make the heart grow fonder. it just places a barrier between people. distance is such an obstacle.

on wednesday, i'll lose two people i love. they will be going to australia to study (and consequently so will i, but that's beside the point) and i don't know, does 5 and 10 years sound like millenniums to you? and by the time they return, we'll all be men and women with responsibilities, jobs and plans to "settle down"; to leave our carefree lives behind.

*cries*

i feel so robbed of my time with them. and the reality of it is just starting to hit me hard. i'm going to say goodbye. again. i'm going to see people i care for leave me, again. saying i'll miss them is quite the understatement.

i'm supposing the only advice to take now is 'time heals everything'. but i don't want to be wise and philosophic now. all i want to do is whine, be difficult and look pensive with a cloud of gloom over my head for the next few days. haha. so, bear with me.

i don't have a picture of both of them together so i'm using one of my old edits. forgive the very obvious fact that it has my sister's and my face like plastered there.

bu-ken and shaun, we'll miss you both loads.