a title i can't think of

it's 1am and my stomach is all sorts of hungry. but i'm just too sleepy to drag my lazy arse to the kitchen. plus it's not good to eat late at night right? especially if you're trying to combat highly unwanted tummy flab.

eating is such a waste of time really.

and for me, such a big distraction. sometimes in class i mentally picture the things in our fridge and check off the stuff i need to use or can use for lunch/dinner/random meal :( either that or i'll be imaginary-shopping in the Countdown of my mind already. a product of growing up in malaysia... oh the hype about food! anyway this is NOT a food post, because i did that once before, and also the mere mention of food sends my tummy growling in protest against my being resolutely unkind to it.

to digress...

the more i get into my course, the more i realise how much i enjoy writing. of course, academic writing is nowhere as fun or carefree as say, writing in this blog. but even so, it's fulfilling to know you wrote something that got you an A. haha... yeah i know i know, very modest there denise. it took me a while to warm up to writing uni-level essays, and weirdly, i'm doing so much better at 300-level papers than i ever did in 100-level. maybe all it needed was some understanding and TLC to love me back.

i'd like to say that writing does to me what music or art do to some people, but music and art are a big part of my life as well. but there's this thing about writing... where you are able to organise your thoughts and immortalize them on paper/ the internet(??). i express myself much better through writing... those who know me know i'm not so articulate and that i tend to lapse into silence at times. yes i am shy and i tend to be awkward when i'm shy, so i'd rather not talk... but also, most of the time there are just so many thoughts swimming around in my head i can't seem to pick out the ones i'd like to say. so writing gives me time to catalogue them and make sense of them.

and why this whole long long unnecessary monologue about why i sometimes talk less, i don't know. sometimes i wonder why less extroverted people have to apologize for not being more demonstrative.

guess that explains why i'm always drawn to guys who are outgoing. haha.