like a rainbow, it's beauty after the rain

i feel pathetic. haha.
i feel like i shouldn't be missing you this much.
i feel as if i shouldn't be caring so much.
yeah i feel bloody pathetic.
i feel like an annoying fly that won't leave you alone.
i feel like i could be positive about it.
but don't know how.
i must i must not start pitying myself.
cos that would be even more pathetic.


you know what?

i really wish i could go home. even just for a while. i really wish i was home. i need to be home. i feel like i'm drowning in quicksand. i have just been thriving lately. not really living. but i guess that's what inactivity does to you. it's only when i'm alone in my room that it comes real bad. but like i said, no self pity please.


i only have a few aims for now. one of which is to ace my papers. for at least if i lose control of my whole life, i know that there're some things i have the power to control still.


i think i need to get out of this hole soon. before i lose every shred of dignity i still possess.

on the bright side... there IS always a bright side, thank God for that! so at least i've got that to look forward. and i'm starting to think, perhaps this is in God's big plan for my life. that his perfect love encompasses all other kinds of love. in my weakness, i draw my strength from Him.



i think i'm just looking too much into things.


though sorrow may last for the night, but joy comes with the morning.
now i know why mornings are always filled with more hope than any other time of the day.