those days

you know those times when you feel like you just don't deserve all the good things that come your way?
and why is it easier to be nasty to the people who love you most?how if people knew the real you deep inside, they wouldn't touch you with a yard stick?

pondering about it lah...
no i'm not a disturbed/tortured emo soul (well i hope i'm not anyway), and not wallowing in self pity either, heck no!

just...

coming to terms with how i'm lapsing back into my old "me me me" ways again.yes denise, it's time to wake up again and get your act together. it's just not all about you.

anyway,

i came across some of these pictures which illustrates what i wish i could do... being in a whimsical mood and everything :) don't worry, they're fun and happy things... i'm not gonna work myself into a depression over nothing. full of light, sunshine and laughter... that's me. okok that's going too far. so anyway...




i was just being my (occasional) bimbo self one day and i realised that i didn't have a plain white dress i could wear when i wanted to channel the pure innocent girly lazy days. i must get one some day... aye that i must. and walk bare footed in the fields.


more field pictures...
you might've realised that most of my happy thoughts are connected with big wide open spaces and grass. hmm don't know why... maybe it's just the idea of the outdoors and how nothing ever seems that bad when you're amongst such raw beauty.




and i know i said i didn't want snow in the winter cos it was wet and cold and only fun to gaze at from the warm house, but if i could look like that in the snow... bring it on winter! come to think of it, i would like to play in the snow and make snowballs and feel the snow all over my hair.