i don't know?

ok. so i really really should post something up.
thing is... i really don't know what.
then i realised- i really do not know lots of things.





like why do we work during vacations, and dream about vacations when we work?

or why we look forward to rainy days when it's hot and sunny, and then complain about the rain when it finally does?

why does the thing you've been wanting so very badly lose its appeal once you've got it?

why do we disregard something when we have it but miss it when it goes away?

why is it so easy to advice but so hard to be adviced?

if the grass is greener on the other side, why are we in such a hurry to go someplace else once we get there?







hmm... don't get me wrong. i'm not judging or finger-pointing at anyone. i'm just wondering... cos i struggle with these too. and these are just some questions i've been mulling over in my head these few days.



i realised that i haven't been out in the fresh air for some time. i haven't just sat on the grass just because. everyday i have something to do, some agenda to follow, deadlines to meet, people to please... again, don't get me wrong; i'm not here to complain, merely to state. everything in life is a tradeoff. everything is a choice. you trade your time for A in order to make time for B. simple economics of life.



as for me... i'm trading time spent listening to the soft crashing of waves, to "make something of myself " in life. sometimes you just gotta wonder... is it all worth it?

i don't know.

i guess i never will. what are my priorities? God, myself, my family, him, my friends... how does life fit in everything?

i don't know.

but what i would like is just one day of not planning, preparing, stressing, worrying... no appointments

just one day where i can be myself, just go with the flow. let me sit for as long as i want. close my eyes and breathe in deeply and just think... how great life is, and how thankful i am to be alive.

.

.

.

just one day.