how long

can someone stay angry?

you know, it sucks to be ignored. all the more if you're ignored by the people you love.
yeah sucks.
but not only that, it gets hurtful. and yes! i AM ok. quite hurt.
i am HUMAN. thus, i make mistakes. so does everyone... but at least i admit that i'm wrong and i apologize for it.
how long are you going to hold on to your grudge?
now, doesn't that make you the petty one instead.

i'll always love you, but right now i don't like you.

ironies and some other things

met up with ross yesterday. she was back a few weeks ago for her break but i haven't managed to see her til yesterday. how sad is that? i blame our clashing schedules. anyway, we caught up on some much needed talking. heart-to-heart. and laughed our asses off (at least i did, and you know how loudly i laugh) until people from the next table looked a bit uncomfortable. oops! i'm always embarassing myself. haih.

you know how it is that when you have lots of cash, you just can't find things that you like (to buy), and when you're having this major (lack of) cashflow crisis, everything looks so good to you and you just wish (just this once) that your daddy was bill gates. ross and i, we went for a stroll after lunch, which turned into a full blown shopping excursion. went in shops, tried on stuff, preened in front of the mirror, left. alternated with buying some of the stuff we tried. i didn't think i would be shopping so i didn't bring lotsa money. BUT thank goodness my parents were there to so i could dig into someone else's wallet for the time being. before that (when i went woth renee, staph and ann ann), had money, didn't like anything there. life is full of ironies really.

i'm starting to like michael buble. yeah yeah... only NOW. i like the way he resings old songs in a... less oldies way. very relaxing for lazy nights like this. for my wedding (garden wedding haha) i want a white piano (not off white, just a bright nice white), crimson roses, and a pianist accompanied by a double bassist who'll play all these kind of songs. nice jazzy ballady numbers. either that or a string quartet (2 violins, viola and cello). and YEAHHHH i know it's super early to be planning one now (i'm still so unattached), but it never hurts to dream :) or i hope to attend one like that soon! lol

ps. ivan, if you're up for rental i want you to be my pianist... lol.

brisbane

i know i know i know... it's been what, 2 months already and i'm still not done showing pictures of my aussie trip. so, forgive me and enjoy.... i takes ages to upload them to slide, so i think i'll be super slow in showing up the rest. meanwhile, here's brisbae, where i hope to be in say, 2 yrs time? if if if i do get into the uni that i want.

wasabi ice cream tastes kinda yummy.
weird... but not bad at all.

next round... miso ice cream?

the chabohs

6 lives. so different. so seperate, yet so alike.

6 girls. so close, yet so distant.

now seriously, i don't intend to make this all so touchy cry-y. nope. this is reality and i'll tell it like it is. at least, i'll try.

so there's prissy the perfectionist. she's the artsy one. and we ALL know that she's doing some course in art (i forget what it's called though she's told me so many times before. sorry!). pris has the patience of a saint. seriously! she can listen to annoying people for hours and seem interested. which is more than can be said of me sadly. anyway, she's the one i go to most to unload and for advice.

next is miss sporty qian, lover of all things yellow. the girl is so into sports that she even has me, non-sporty couch potato, to go squashing and do other forms of exercising. hehe, i can still remember the times she made poor lionel run up and down the court during squash. also the organizer of the group. i think sometimes she gets tired of always being the (wo)man -in- charge but honey you're the best! i know she doesn't read my blog, but thank you qian for all your love, time and effort.

then there is ann ann with the dimples that i so love. she's my fashion buddy; we can talk about it for hours. haven't seen her for a year but she's back now so we'd better hangout lots and lots of times before you go back you hear me? lol.

we move on to slightly bohemian steph with the long long legs (jealous). another artsy-fartsy girl and bass chica. heheh. we kinda have conflicting opinions sometimes but one thing we do agree about; music! and she has this unique sense of humour. only steph's ;-)

then, studious, inquisitive, tv-holic sabri, always wanting to know what, why, who and how? she's really sharp, especially when it comes to mind games (which i suck at. upon reflection, i suck at most games :( . sad ) , she's a really good friend.

finally, there's well... me. small, blur and clumsy. with the most unlady-like laugh ever. haha. you do realize it's hard for me to describe me. so we'll just leave it at that.

these 5 girls (minus me of course), well, i've basically grown up with them through the difficult teenage years. finding ourselves, stating and reinstating our values (no bgr til we left school), gossiped (i know it's bad but like you don't?), given each other support, made us laugh til we had abs, built one another up and shared our secrets.

and of course there were bad times too (little angels fight sometimes *angelic smile*). i guess we had our rounds of petty jealousies, bickering and disagreeing. can't really remember much of that but there was an incident. our all-girl guitar class (taught by josh) had to perform once. and when the pressure started building, so did the tension. and some anger.

or maybe it was just me.

but basically, we were in everything together. got praised together (or seperately) and got scolded together also. someone once said that we were all so different and yet we complemented each other.

i see that this has been an incredibly long and exausting post (not so to those who read i hope. it's ok to be honest though). so i think i shall stop.

so anyway, cheers ladies! to the good times, the bad and the times to come.

beginning of sem (again)

col has started. actually have been for a week... i just choose to not think about it overly much. on one hand... it's fun, i'm not idle at home everyday (i have a very non-happening life just so you know); but on the other... late to bed, and early to rise is really not my idea of fun. especially if the only reward for dragging yourself out of bed at 7am (yes it's early for me) is to sit in a lecture hall (or classroom for tutorials) and listen to my esteemed lecturers drone on and on and on about some topic that doesn't interest me the slightest bit. that said, i shall complain no further. supposed to complain and grumble less this year but i see no change in me. this cannot be! i must change.

free hugs anyone?

some things just make me feel all warm and glowing inside.
one of them, hugs. lately, i keep wanting to hug people randomly. you know, you feel this sudden burst of affection and you just want to hug them and tell them that somebody loves them. maybe i should join 'free hugs'. haha. but i don't see how it's going to work here in m'sia. people here won't just allow any stranger to exchange dead skin cells with them let alone a full on embrace. "err... no thanks... why don't you go terrify the other guy next to me? (and fyi, i think you're crazy)"

cuddling and hugging puppies
random hugs from kids. just because.
hugs from friends i haven't met in ages.
reassuring hugs.
hugs from the people i love.

telling you...
it's alright. it's gonna be ok.
hello. i miss you.
i love you.
goodbye.

puppies! i miss cuddling their soft warm bodies. and their little tongues licking you, short stubby tails wagging as they beg for more. you can see the utter adoration in their eyes. i heart!

size 5 and a half

i went looking for pumps the other day (have been unsuccessfully looking for some time). so frustrating.

wrong size wrong colour wrong type wrong height (heel)

there was just something not right for everything.

sucks to have feet size 5 and 1/2. or maybe i'm just too choosy.

journal

hmm.. some highlights. i've been kinda busy lately (and lazy to blog too).


sat.

i got this early morning phone call from my senior in college. woke me up from my sleep so i didn't really get what she said. but what i did get was that she wanted me to go to col at a certain time for a photoshoot. i hmm-ed and humm-ed and told her i didn't want to go because the hours were long and i had plans with pris and annann. so i went back to sleep.

later, got a txt from her telling me the time was changed (a more appropriate time) and (allow me to be a bit perasan hehe) that she really wanted me to be there. so i agreed. so after lunch with prissy and annann (which was great cos we don't really get to talk to pris all that much anymore, she's been so occupied lately... ), i went to col. with annann.

so the real deal was that they were taking pics for the col brochures for 2008. and i had to... model (sorta) for it. together with a few other people who except for one other girl, were not from my college. lol. weird. and the coolest thing, annann got roped in as well. so they made us pose and do stuff and all that. you know.. photoshoot stuff. which was like... wow, a once in a lifetime thing.




sun. (fyi, sun is the first day of the week. to me anyway)

family trip to hatyai. as in, extended family. the whole troupe.. grandparents, cousins and all.
just one word for it- TIRING. i was so sleepy and exausted the whole time i was there. didn't feel like shopping, walking, or doing anything for that matter. all i wanted to do was sleep sleep sleep. but i did like the food there. and the night market. didn't do much shopping there though. nothing very appealing.

food stalls at the night market. everything looks so good. but i didn't try.

grubs. let's see, we have fried worms, fried crickets, fried beetles... was so tempted to try. i'm kicking myself for not trying them.

some sorta pancake thing

oh oh.. and here comes the good food. sharks fin soup. i know i said i wouldn't eat sharks fin anymore on account of the inhumane way they're killed just for their fins but .. it was just too good.... yeah i know, what a hypocrite right? haih.... why're all good food bad?

yep, the sharks fin.

and bird's nest. it was good. so very good.

this is the morning market. felt so claustrophobic in there. and i had this silly image of some mission impossible or james bond scene running through my head the whole time. you know, the chee kek fighting parts.

mon.

came back and went to buy my notebook. i'm now a proud owner of a vaio CR. my lil white baby. hehe.

tues.

went for my dad's lion's club new year's gathering. it was actually pretty fun. better than i imagined. they booked a private room with karaoke. and the adults were generally very crazy, hogging the mikes and stuff. we even had games. and i discovered baileys irish cream. i don't really like alcohol all that much. i mean, it's just normal... nothing special, not like how some people just love it. but baileys... it's nice. very smooth and creamy with a hint of chocolate. but alcohol is bad ler. bad for the liver.

wed.

went hiking. with mel, michelle, crystal ball, ann ann, daniel, melissa and victor. oh and my sis. we hiked up to point 5. yay! i've never been there, so it's a mini acheivement. i hate hiking ok.

then later spent some time with my cousins who came down to penang. dinner and stuff. saw an aston martin outside g hotel. gorgeous car.

blessed 2008!

new year. no resolutions this year. well, not right now anyway. i'll just make them up when i go along. no use making up things that i'll just break the moment after i make them right? so, yes, last year was a fab year. lotsa happenings, lotsa disappointments, pain, joy, laughter... the works. last year (must remember, it's 2008 now) was definately a big leap from the past years. major change (college) and some other stuff... yeah, i've learnt a lot and i've got to say.. i loved every damn moment of it! good, bad and otherwise.

so, it's the first. sigh. wonder what this year will bring. new relationships? new friends? new experiences? new hurt? new hopes? new expectations? i dunno. seems pretty overwhelming right now but i think i'll go through with it just fine. man, i'll be 19 this year. last year of being a teen. how sad.. leaving my teenagehood behind. but like they say, when one door closes, a new one opens. yup, i think i'm ready to go through new doors. so, open em' up and let me in!

oh and one more thing...
have a great year everyone! and God bless.

really. God bless you all.