idiosyncrasies of life

life is so ironic.

you know, like when you want something and you want it so badly. but nothing happens. but one day, magic happens and voila! you actually get what you want! happy day. but then, the thing comes to you with clauses and fine print making it quite impossible to accept.

it's s*** you know. you get what you want but you can't have it.

i hate ironies.

ish!

it's a slothy morning for me today. woke up late, spent ages eating my breakfast (which really shouldn't even be called breakfast anymore), almost an hour in the shower (ahh.. water wastage!)___ and well, it's almost lunchtime now.


i got into a fight with bu-ken yesterday. really big word-fight (err... you don't expect me to actually engage in a fist-fight right?) . we raged at each other, blamed one another, argued, quarreled.... and when i was so fuming mad i never wanted to see his face again-

bk: hey..you mad?
me: what do you think?
bk: yea?
me yea.
bk: APRIL FOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahaha

*sweat*

some nonsense

i'm starting to like my hols. *grins*

i know, i sound like some ungrateful wretch. got holiday some more complain so much. lol. the truth is that i get exceedingly out of sorts if i don't have something to do. you know, a purpose driven life. hmm, maybe i should read the book. i need to have a reason to wake up, and i need to feel a sense of satisfaction at having completed a task well before i go to sleep again.

and the house seems unbelievably small when all you do is sleep until noon (ok, i still do that now). and then from the bed to the pc, tv, read.... sleep again. it's a very snoozy life you know. how can anyone lead that kinda life? it's utterly *yawn* boring!

so, thank goodness i have fellow equally bored friends with nothing better on their hands. mostly, we play sports or watch movies, but still... a good way to kill time and bond.

argh! just found a horrid scratch/dent on my brand new darling phone!!! is that blood i see gushing out from my heart? *pengsan*

my face seems to be sprouting pimples these days. oh no! cham... it's coming one after another, crap! i hope i don't become a crater face because as much as i can stand, i abhor pimples on MY FACE and the mere sight of 'em makes me wanna sit down on my bathroom floor and dissect something. just kiddin. but would you want pimples, huh huh huh???

anyway, here're some pics of us sweating it out in the squash courts. if we look very stupid/ lame/dumb/idiotic playing or the pics make you fall of your seat laughing, just remember:

(in william hung's voice) "we've no professional training! "

lionel and melvin.. erm... getting it on

qian the supergirl.

i really dunno why he's doing that. man.. this is beyond me.

ok fine, i know i look very lembap. laugh all you want.

How to Touch a Girl

this song's for the guys (and girls).

although i'm really not a fan of jojo but, this is really good stuff (to quote clinton, lol). let me tell ya, girls really dig guys who are gentleman. i mean, it shows if you treat the girl you like like a princess but others like s***.

2.0 megapixels

indulged in a spot of camwhoring today. i wanted to try out what lionel said about editing the pictures using my phone and wouldn't you know it... i think i have a new best friend. erm, in simple photo editing that is. heheh. i mean, it's really easy and the end result is quite professional. i'll show you.

from this... (the above) ok, just try to overlook my blur look.

to this. less blur, and more vintage.

and wouldn't you know it? done wholly by my phone. ho liao lo....

and this, well this .... ahaha... saja (it's also done with my phone). i liked it so much that i put it at the bottom of my blog. you can scroll all the way down if you really want to see but i'm guessing you guys won't. but nevermind. man, i look like i'm having a second childhood or something. i tell you, those pics make me look positively 15. NOOOOO......

and finally, all credit to lionel for opening my eyes to what else my phone can do.

pretty?

i can never write stories. i keep trying but after the second paragraph, it's hasta la vista baby! i guess, that's because i just lack the patience and emotional capacity to actually write the whole thing. tried writing a love story today but i really can't bring myself to write mushy stuff, so... i'm back at square one. staring at my computer screen grumbling about my lack of story-writing skill

i was talking to a friend recently, telling him that i played squash for the first time.

friend: wa... somebody play lo

denise: huh... look down at me yea

friend: bet you got no strength to play

denise: ah fine.. look down on me will ya

friend: not looking down. but you're a pretty girl. i don't see how pretty girl can play

denise: omgosh! what an insult. but it was my first time playing. so obviously i wasn't good at it.

friend: that's why i say you're pretty. i don't see how you can play. and by the way, it's not an insult, i'm praising you.

so apparently pretty girls are only meant to be accessories. just like the mercedes c-class or the 22" sony plasma tv in your living room huh? just something to look at, to admire to brag about??? and who says girls who are "pretty" can't do anything else well except to look nice and think about boys/men all day.

besides, about half or more of women/girls here in malaysia itself are pretty (quoting from abstract figures). so, does it mean that the female population here is going to come to ruins? just because half or so of them can't do a thing well. or wait, did you say can't play a sport well too?

so what if i'm pretty? (*ahem* if you beg to differ, keep your opinions to yourself... )
it's not like looks will make me extremely smart, make money magically fall from the sky, give me an immediate promotion to a top job or have guys eating from the palms of my hand.
because as of now:
~ i have to work like a dog (hey, who says dogs work? my dog gives a whole new meaning to couch potato) to pass and do well in my studies.
~ there must be a drought here if money is supposed to fall from the sky.
~ unless i plan to seduce my boss or my superiors and spend my entire life labeled 'the office slut' i guess it's possible, though i hardly have the assets.
~ i'm still happily single. enough said.

so you see.... what's the point of being pretty? looks are just looks. they fade. and then you're no longer pretty. WAS but no longer IS.

as for me, i'd rather be called beautiful. because you have to earn it; the term beautiful. because it's more than just looks, it's deeper than it. to be called beautiful, a beautiful soul... now that's a real compliment.

[i'm allergic to chauvinistic males. just so you know]

society dictates

strict lines of bold
running through our lives
dictating our very steps
corrupting our mindsets

lines that never bend
uncompromising
hiting hardest at those trying to break free
where conformity is genius
and freedom of will, alien

to deviate from our molds
to hope for something new
different
out of the box
to grasp life and embrace it
everything i wish for
too remote
too difficult to acheive

lines that form opinions
mine
yours
ours
theirs

rigid protocol
leaves us gasping for air
suffocating

in a place
in a glass world
where society dictates.

nothing to do....

it's the start of my hols and i'm just sitting around shaking hands and feet at home. part of me is screaming to get out and go places... see and do new things. but the other part, my feet particularly... protests that it isn't up to walking. so, end verdict: denise stays at home feeling exceedingly bored. akk! bored. bored boredbored.....

i am bored/restless/ listless/ feeling dull... what other words mean bored?

ok, i'm gonna stop.

B-O-R-E-D

help me.....

denise goes canoeing

i'm now typing with a scratched palm and a battered foot.

and no, i wasn't in some gang fight or cat fight.

heheh... this morning, i woke up at the crack of dawn. really, 5.50 is even before dawn. dragged myself out of bed, dragged my sis out of slumber and slunked of to the bathroom with birds hair nest. ok, so you know i'm not a morning person.

anyway, why would i put myself (and my sis) into such torture right? you see... shaun's classmate invited him to go canoing which he invited me to go too, and in turn, i brought along my sis. so, together with bu-ken, ezra and ernest... the 6 of us squeezed into shaun's mom's car to go to his friend's house. which is sea front by the way (eeh, so jealous).

then, we took his canoes and canoed. uh, which is really the point of this outing really. me, bu-ken and ezra in one; shaun, my sis , ezra and jeremy in another; and iise in the single seater. paddled to some island opposite his house. then, like explorers, we set out to explore the island. up the rocks, down the rocks, some stairs and oh la la~ came across a tomb. all eerie and drapped in yellow cloth with burned out joss sticks. need i say more? actually, we didn't stumble across it, iise took us to see it. and then the light house...

more rocks to climb after that. i have to admit, climbing anything is hardly my strong point. and jumping from one batu to another is my idea of fear factor. haha.

and then, tragedy! while i was climbing... you know la, trying to be a hero and all... my foot slipped. and scratched the treacherous rocks there. ouch! and i slipped a few times because it was hard to get a good footing then. so, by that time, i was bleeding quite a bit. just a few scratches but everyone just had to look as horrified as i had accidently sliced off my foot.

so, what to do but go back to the beach with iise while the others continued their journey. lol, felt so deflated.. and lousy. and haha.. actually had my toe temporarily bandaged by iise. not bad not bad, for a guy.

and then, played in the water for awhile. doing crazy stunts( the guys) and getting baked in the sun (all of us). we were pretty wiped out after keeping and cleaning the gears. well, you know the rest.. bathed, ate, messed up the room, and balik kampung.

oh yea, not before getting a very erm, interesting send-off from the 2 rottweilers there. oh man, ezra almost didn't make it to the gate safely. hahaha... everyone was squashed at the gate trying to get out as fast as possible.

crazy, a lil' painful but still... i would go again. i mean, how often d u get to canoe to island's with graves on them?

updates from where i left off

it's been so long. ages since i've had the initiative to come here and put in my 2 sen worth. ah... well, i blame my assignments (which are thankfully over and done with) and studying for the test (which is tomorrow, so wish me all the best!).

so, quite a lot has happened since i abandoned my kesian blog. haha.

~like almost losing it with my groupmates before our big human comm presentation. oh, i'm so glad it's over. i guess i must've been quite a pain in the arse to them by refusing to meet up early and being the first to leave always. heheh.

~erm... and completing my first ever mini animation. even though it's just in powerpoint (think jerky movements and not so sophisticated finish).. i still think it's quite an accomplishment. for me anyway... because i did it myself without help from anyone, but with lots of useful advice from many people. but, i wouldn't wanna do it again.. too much work and attention to detail for me.

~receiving my disappointingly bad spm results. there's nothing much i want to say about it so... i'll just take it as another of life's harsh lessons to learn. because like i always say, 'what that doesn't kill you will make you stronger', no? but it is hard, pretty tough medicine to swallow when i hear of my almost straight A scoring peers complaining about their slightly marred results. i guess people are never satisfied.

the tears have stopped falling. accepting my flaws i move on, cutting off the last remaining shreads of ties to my childhood. moving on to embrace maturity and stretch my wings to new and bigger things.

~i'm finally 18! with wheels (that don't belong to me yet), more allowance, excess to wherever i wanna go and movies i want to watch (as if i don't already watch >18 movies. hehe). well, i did have a great birthday. my college mates splurged and celebrated for me during our animation presentation in the morning. which was really touching considering i haven't been spending much time with them, plus i don't really socialise with them all that much.

one of the cakes... handmade by cousin.

and after gettng my results (yea, killing 3 birds with one stone on that day).. i realy didn't feel like going out to celebrate anymore. but i'm glad i did... otherwise i would be crying buckets of tears and moping at home. organized by my beloved "grandson". heheh (like he says..." the disadvantages of being my grandson"). we had korean bbq (first time for me) and later did the usual.. u know.. movie, lepak and all that. altogether managed to get me off my despondency with much love and thanks to them. ok, i'm babling.

another cake.

~oh yea, and also went guitar hunting for qian with lionel (surprise surprise!), sleepy-ivans, qian (of course) and my sis (even bigger surprise). bought a standard yamaha guit and managed to get the price reduced (a lil bit) thanks to lionel. also, celebrated an early b'day with them at breeks with cakes courtesy of qian. right now, i'm loaded with cakes. oh man, how am i gonna finish all of em?

so, altogether a very eventful start of the month. may the adventures of denise ong continue. ok stop. finish.